Toon
It Is Hot As Shit Outside
<p class=MsoNormal>I live in a hot area of the country. We are used to hot, steamy summers. Yet, every year, the media gets all nutso about how hot it is/ was/ is going to be. As if we don’t see the upper nineties for about a week every year. There tends to be the same amount of hype surrounding the one snow we are sure to get every winter—it happens literally every year, but somehow it becomes all the buzz, as if a circus train derailed downtown and the elephants and lions were roaming around, getting coffee. Read the rest...
Posted Aug 2nd 2006, 00:14 in Toon
Pace Yourself
<p class=MsoNormal>Today, my good friend CNN tells me that people over seventy who consume one to seven alcoholic beverages a week have a “significantly lower risk of heart problems or death than those who didn’t imbibe.???Read it again—Lower risk of DEATH. My first thought is to ask the question, “Does this mean they maybe won’t die, ever? Read the rest...
Posted Jul 25th 2006, 09:27 in Toon
Rust Never Sleeps
Woody Allen said something to the effect of Its easy to live to be a 100 if you give up everything that makes you want to live to be a 100. Is it better to burn out than to fade away? I'm trying to decide. Read the rest...
Posted Apr 13th 2006, 23:08 in Toon
'The Chameleon' Dead at 42
<span style=font-weight: bold;>April 23, 2006</span> – <span style=font-weight: bold;>Dr. Phillius DeMure</span> was shot dead at 1:20 p.m. yesterday as he bravely and foolishly tried to thwart a trio of bank robbers at Witts Savings & Trust. Dr. DeMure, also known as ‘The Chameleon’, after a series of ill-conceived atomic experiments, had the marvelous ability to change the color of his skin at will. It may be remembered, perhaps, as a misfortune that his ability did not extend beyond the primary colors, for the bank robbers saw a naked red man creeping through the rose-colored lobby of the Savings & Trust under the false notion that he was blending in perfectly. While all the witnesses agree that the robbers were, indeed stunned for a moment, they shortly opened fire on the good doctor. Dr. Demure is survived by a wife, three children and a poorly fabricated clone. <div style=display: none; id=stickies-count>0</div> Read the rest...
Posted Apr 10th 2006, 10:32 in Toon
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