You can see it in the city noise ordinances, or the angry middle fingers in car windows, unseen by the perpetrators as they zoom away---people are fed up with the aggressive use of car horns.  You can't yield to a pedestrian, take your time pulling into your driveway or wait for opposing traffic without being thus arbitrarily and unnecessarily harassed.  Yes, it's easy to feel molested, screwed, helpless to combat this noise nightmare.  But you're not helpless anymore---thanks to our new Car Fart PSH-1000 Series.

Because we care about the safety and comfort of your driving experience, we've developed the Car Fart, a component attached to your exhaust pipe that, at the press of a button from your steering wheel, will exert a low but unmistakable thunder 30 decibels louder than that produced by human flatulence, but low enough not to disrupt any noise ordinances.  It's safe, and city friendly!  That's what the Car Fart is all about.

No longer will you be vulnerable to random rear-end collisions---now you can nip reckless driving in the bud by striking back!  Policemen, newspaper delivery guys, and little old ladies agree, the Car Fart is the Coot's Patoot! 

Be sure to watch for more product announcements in AARP Magazine.