I had a doctor's appointment today. This guy is pretty old, LOVES to lecture me about things like what the Bible says about drinking (I get the same stuff from my dentist, no joke...I must walk around with an invisible ink sign on my forehead: Please lecture me about my religion! I haven't heard it enough yet, really!). And he always says he thinks of me like a daughter. That's nice. I'm all choked up. I decide to give this guy a chance anyway.

But then I go in today and it's You didn't take care of the referral I gave you?! I'm not supposed to do it, I wanted you to see a specialist, didn't you get that?? You're trying to make more work for me? Why don't you grow up and get your shit together? You're an adult now, you're not a kid anymore! etc., etc....and culminating with You're just like my daughter!!

Here's where it really sucks. What he's yelling at me for, isn't my fault at all. I even tried to be graceful and not rat out his nurse to him for her terrible service, but I had no idea I would be reprimanded so offensively. So, breaking my former tactful silence, I then inform him that the miscommunication was as much his nurse's fault, because both times I spoke with her on the phone she was too busy to take two minutes and pull out my file like I asked, and tell me if he had specifically requested a referral when I last saw him. But no. I guess I must be the first patient they've ever had that has needed help with understanding all the myriad things their doctor has asked them to do. And I must be the first goddamn idiot alive that hasn't been able to decipher the caveman scrawl on my prescription slip...

Anyway, I was repeatedly misinformed by the nurse---who apparently refuses to educate herself by even taking a peek at a patient's file---that my doctor could easily perform the procedure I thought he wanted and would do it today. I came in for that purpose today just like she told me to (and get this: I even called yesterday to confirm and she said the same crap, just insisting on keeping her head up her ass!). And as soon as I get there, the doctor says he's not doing that and then proceeds to tell me what a little shit I am for refusing to cooperate, and how I'm as irresponsible as [his] own daughter!

He didn't acknowledge what I said about his staff's lack of appropriate service. Instead he found something else to yell at me for. I asked him to tell me the test results of a slew of tests that last month he demanded I take (more on this story later...). Well, he said he mailed them to me, and I said I didn't get them. I didn't tell him this, but apparently his nurse MOST INCOMPETENTLY sent it to MY PARENTS' address, after all those forms I filled out with my proper mailing address. So, anyway. What? he says. You didn't get the results, too?! Are you some kind of child or something? You can't check your own mail?

I am outraged. I tried so hard for this appointment. How hard? The day I was planning on taking care of all his prescriptions and referrals was the day I get a call that I have to pick up my friend from the airport because he hasn't got any other goddamn friends or something (a total lie of course---he's got plenty, just none that help him ever). I spent the entire car ride through traffic to LA International Airport calling up doctors, hospitals, insurance companies....trying to make sure I can still get everything set up. I made it to the hospital for one exam. Plus all day I made it a point not to eat anything after the two bites of a muffin I'd had at 6 a.m. that day, so that I'll be able to do the last thing: the blood test. And you know what those wonderful, service-oriented nurses told me after all that ordeal and all on an empty stomach, nine and a half hours later at almost 4 pm? It hasn't been ten hours. We don't care how much you ate or what time it was. If it's nine hours and fifty minutes we turn you away. Get lost.

You know. Because it's UNTHINKABLE that fifteen minutes just might elapse anyway in the waiting room!!!!

Enough. I've had enough. I'm never using Gateway Medical again (that's my provider). They can rot in hell, all those nurses. I don't give a crap how hard they work. I've had repeatedly insulting treatment from them and I'm goddamn sick of it by now.

Can anybody tell me who I need to mail a letter to, in order to get some fuckin' recognition of my pains and my outrage? If you can tell me who handles the better business bureau for doctors & nurses I swear I'll make it up to you. I'm good on my word too. I'll call in sick to take you to the airport.