Welcome to Veggie Law and Order. A headline on CNN.com blares, "Tainted Spinach Found in Victim's Fridge." You know, because we're all following along to track down the serial spinach sickener. And I'm going to challenge the use of the word "victim" here. I know, it's a person that's been affected by the dirty spinach, but victim? As if the spinach kicked in the door and tied people up, forcing itself down their throats and duct taping their mouths shut. I can just see Vincent D'Onofrio flinging open the refrigerator and shaking the bag of baby spinach at the other investigator. "This is the spinach that made her sick."

Of course, there are those that are taking this opportunity to poke the fear button, throwing around words like "terrorism" and "vulnerable." And although nobody's claiming that Osama gave us the horrible shits and kidney failure with our baby greens salad, some folks just can't pass up the opportunity to get in your face and demand that you be afraid, because here's yet another way that those terrorists are gonna gitcha!
And seriously, stop that shit. Yes, the food supply is, potentially, one way that some big, bad scaries can make their mark. But, um, excuse me, but I believe the lesson here is that we are vulnerable all the time to every single thing on this planet, including weather and earthquakes and little green leaves. We can't beat the soil with a color-coded emergency system, and we can't be hypervigilant about vegetables. We can set up as many departments and start as many wars as we want, but we can still be wiped out by some dirty spinach. We're never going to be all-powerful, and we're never going to be totally safe from everything. Not one of us, not ever. So shut up and eat your vegetables.