First of all, let me say that when I was young, I watched the A Team like it was freaking church. And when the A Team wasn't on, and Murdock wasn't sneaking a backpack into a warehouse disguised as a pregnant woman, and Mr. T. wasn't being drugged and thrown on a plane, I watched the cartoon that featured Mr. T. and his team of young gymnasts fighting petty crime like kids stealing from dime stores. And then my uncle moved to a suburb of Chicago,where he lives in the same neighborhood as BA Baraccus himself. Apparently he has big dogs, and a pair of purple sweats. That's as far as my uncle ever got with the neighborliness -- he takes out his trash wearing purple sweats, and the dogs can make a racket.

Second of all, I just learned that Mr. T. shed his 35+ pounds of gold jewelry after Hurricane Katrina, because he didn't feel it was right to flaunt his bling in front of people who'd lost everything. That Mr. T.is a softie at heart!

And now, the talk show. Or a motivational show. Or a positive-boot-camp show? I don't know. But it's not going to be Dr. Phil, he's clear about that. It's going to be positive. He's going to go in there and tell people what's up with his street-smart wisdom. He's going to yell at them. Alot. Are you ready for this? I SAID, ARE YOU READY?!?!?!?!

Who knew Mr. T was still out there turning people around? And is it just me, or is that SNL's Chris Parnell standing next to T. in the car dealership? The show is called Pity the Fool. And no, I'm not joking.

Don't do milk. Drink your drugs. Stay in school.