I know where a lot of you wish Web 2.0 would go - and that's 'away' - but you'd be bettr to suck it up and get used to it. Websites that allow usrs to manipulate and add content are amazingly populr and sometimes rathr annoying. I am not a Web 2.0 hatr, howevr, and I have a little Web 2.0 wish-list of my own that I'd like to see implemented.

1) Travlr: User Generated Visas

Have you seen the paperwork that poor suckers have to go through in order to gain entry to this country? And the cost of applying! The government are obviously are only interested in attracting potential Republicans. I mean, come on. It's not like it's that great here. You know how hard it is to get into the Broad Brown Land of Oz ? If you promise to buy the Aussie immigration official a pint of Carlton Draught upon entry, you're pretty much assured to get in. Don't make the hideous foreigners' mistake of offering to buy him Fosters, though. In Australia, they call that stuff Cat Piss.

2) HuRTR: An AJAX interface for beating people up

It would be just super if you could log on to a site, smack Paris Hilton in the head for an hour or so, and watch her bleed in real time.

3) YouSpace: Video Feeds of your arch nemeses' every move

If you've exhausted waiting for them to update their Facebook profiles and MySpace blogs just so you can hate them even more than you already do, download the latest Web 2.0 device that hovers behind interesting parties, showing you exactly what they're doing at any given moment. You'll never again have to click 'refresh' on a LiveJournal page.

4) FatAssBook: Facebook 2.0

No more going to class. No more going to anything. Sit at home and comment on your teachers' Facebook pages. They'll comment back, perhaps imparting cryptic tid-bits of information about the subject they're teaching. But if they don't think you're cool, they won't tell you shit. Don't go to any more parties. With FatAssBook 2.0, you get to sit in your room, drinking by yourself. F2.0 features a communal commenting network and nifty AJAX interface whereby parties are brought to you via the net. This way, you can listen to any music you like, at any volume (hey, you could even wear headphones if you have stuffy neighbors!) and still enjoy that priceless college party atmosphere. As far as sex is concerned, F2.0 will add the category of 'randomly hooked up with' to its Relationship Status feature. Physical interaction is no longer required. Users will be encouraged to cease voting in local and national elections, instead appointing by way of comment-board votes, a Facebook president, state senators and a judicial body. There shall be no Congress. Facebook considers Congress to be superfluous to a functioning society and is thus eliminating it. F2.0's goal is to eliminate unnecessary movement from its users' lives. Soon, we should see a Facebook cafeteria, grocery store, J. Crew and public bathroom. Until then, Facebook encourages users to exclusively shop online in preparation. Other than that, you'll only need to leave your room in order to shower and defecate. But they're working on that.

5) Wikimedica

You knew that when you went to the doctor with a severe case of measles that the fucker was lying when he gave you Clearasil and the phone number of Proactiv Solution. Do something about the retards in the medical profession by updating the world's latest and most accessible medial text, Wikimedica. If you've ever been to the doctor with an embarrassing itch and been outed for the slut you are, you'll appreciate the ease with which you can log on to Wikimedica and change the definition, symptoms and cause of gonorrhea and the clap. Without wanting to encourage promiscuity, Wikimedica lets you alter those things about your health and medical history that you don't like. It's just such a darn shame that there's no cure for herpes... but it would be great if consuming Fritos and Miller Lite made the burning sensation go away. Change medical history by putting this remedy into cyber space. You may have also noticed that body parts have really complicated names. There is simply no need for this. Medicine is a prime example of a smoke-n-mirrors profession where academics try to keep out regular people by creating dumb names for ordinary things. Why the hell should we be impressed with the 'patella' and 'clavicle' when we can call them a kneecap and collarbone? I know what part of the body a 'coccyx' sounds like it should refer to, but it doesn't. With Wikimedica, however, all this can change. Eliminate this snobbery by editing the wiki. If you think 'finger' is a stupid word, you can rename it from the comfort of your own computer. Finally, doctors will tell you a bunch of crap that's 'good for you', but doesn't necessarily cure your ailment. For example, they'll tell you that drinking before bed can actually worsen insomnia. All of us normal people, who don't have anything to gain from selling expensive medications, know that this is total bullshit. Drinking heavily always makes you pass out, and you know it. Delete these falsehoods on Wikimedica, and show the medical profession what a collaborative information effort can really achieve.

6) Wikispellr

A lot like Wikimedica, Wikispellr lets you change the spelling of all those words that aggravate you. Some words are just really tricky. Change badly spelled words to reflect the way they sound to you. The English language is just terrible, and with Wikispellr, we'll all have the ability to fix it. Annoying foreigners will no longer have any excuse not to speak our language, because its spelling will be reduced to the lowest common denominator. Wikispellr also realizes that different people have different interpretations of phonetics, and thus, will allow up to ten different spellings of all words. However, as this is a wiki, the allowance of different spellings can be altered by users. This way, 'licence' and 'lisense' can both be right at the same time! And so can 'lysens.' It's going to rok. The site will also feature a download whereby the spelling tool is permanently erased from users' computers. Along with an infinitely editable dictionary, Wikispellr will eradicate prejudice directed at people for whom spelling is a strange and foreign art. Say goodbye to Friday spelling tests, elementary school teachers! Wikispellr lets your ten year olds pick their own interpretation of 'chrysanthemum.' Suck it up. First to go: Phonetic.

7) Trashorati

A progressive fork of the blog-watcher Techorati, Trashorati will take over all the blogs that are hosted on LiveJournal, Blogspot, Blogger, MySpace and various others of the same ilk. Blogs hosted on all other sites will stay in Technorati's index and will not appear on Trashorati. This process will give Technorati back to professionals and relegate everybody else to the seething mass of nothingness and boiling tar from which they were spawned. After all, those of us who don't want to read *♥mEgHaN's♥*♥MySpace♥*blog <3*♥ shouldn't be faced with it whenever we search for something. Don't like the boring blogs that are left? You can piss off and get your daily dose of shit over at Trashorati.