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Rebecca Kelley

Transcript of the Spears-Federline Breakup

by Rebecca Kelley []
Published on 9/11/06 in News
A verbatim transcript of the text message conversation that marked the demise of Spearsderline...I mean, Federspears...Britfed? Kevney? Whatever, it's a transcript.
Britney: hey kev, y'all remember when i was hot?

Kevin: po po yeah, i wuz like dayum bitches i hit the jackpot!

Britney: well i just crapped out federline junior #2, and i worked, like, super hard to lose all that weight and y'all haven't said nothin. i even did a couple of, whatya call 'em, where you sit up a buncha times...anyway, i cut down to eating only three bags of cheetos a day, and that was hard!

Kevin: po po cheetos are off the hook fo sho

Britney: y'all been obsessed with your album and haven't paid no attention to me. i wish y'all'd hold me like you did on naboo like you did on our wedding night. you looked so sexy in those sweats and cornrows

Kevin: po po cornrows make me look mo' like a weasel, and theys critters be biggity bombastic

Britney: and why the hell can't y'all ever buy me a present without spending my own money?

Kevin: po po broke, yo. them you got served royalties be skimpy as shit

Britney: and y'all never spend time with the kids no more. i bet you don't even know their names

Kevin: po...po...zao...and served

Britney: we only got two kids, kevin! i ain't talkin bout your other ones! and can y'all even say a sentence without starting it with that stupid song?

Kevin: no...po zao

Britney: that's it, i'm like totally divorcin your ass

Kevin: po po damn, there goes my free ride

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britney spears, kevin federline, humor, text message, break up
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6 Comments

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coffeeguru

Brandon E
"biggity bombastic"

k-fed, you're on notice. pretty much you don't get to use the word biggity unless you're ME. or you're describing the hair of some poor texas house-wife. Written on 9/11/06

Fluxx

Jeff Pollard
So apparently, the exact moment Britney text'd K-FED with the news of the divorce was caught on tape. Man, I thought getting dumped by my Ex via email was non-confrontational. Written on 9/11/06

JaneCopland

Jane
Aww this is the one time I've felt bad for him! It's fun to have new experiences. Written on 9/11/06

brooks0503

Dean Brooks
Why can't Congress pass a law to have a draft JUST for Kevin Federline? I'd gladly pardon Saddam just to see K-Fed's shrew-like face plowed into a brick wall by a dozen angry insurgents. Written on 12/11/06

Fluxx

Jeff Pollard
Lets just send him to Iraq...works for me. Written on 12/11/06

coffeeguru

Brandon E
I'm not genrally one who's up for war, but I don't know that I would really WANT the k-fed to be handling an tank or assault wapon. or really even a spoon for that matter.

but that's just me. Written on 13/11/06

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