This is a brief list of the bums I've come across who've caught my attention. The list is by no means exhaustive.

I'm giving them a score out of ten for their level of annoyingness and the probability that they take meth. Feel free to add comments detailing your personal experiences with the world's transients.

Sign Flipping Jesus, corner of 11th and 45th, University of Washington
Sign Flipping Jesus inhabits the strip of grass outside the Shell station on 45^th Street, near UW. Like any bum, he has a collection of ratty cardboard signs, but his trademark is the frantic flipping of the messages. You don't so much read his pleas for "Gotta Dollar?" as you do watch his skilled handiwork with the signs. He garners his name from his looks: shaggy blond hair and unkempt facial hair, along with large, baggy flares make him look like a Nordic, 1960s messiah. Also, one of his signs reads "What would Jesus do?" and he likes to yell at pedestrians, "What would He do, man? Dude, I dunno!"

Level of annoyingness: 7
Probability of meth consumption: 10
 
Hunchback Harriet, corner of Sprague and Pines, Spokane WA
Hunchback Harriet is a big fucking liar. She stands, stooped on the corner opposite Old Country Barf-et in the Spokane Valley, with a rucksack underneath her jacket. Get close enough when you're on the corner to turn down Pines and get on the freeway, and you'll notice the straps of the backpack underneath her coat. This is obviously a lame-o attempt to appear physically disabled, but it's a complete farce.

Level of annoyingness: 4
Probability of meth consumption: 8
 
Darryl the Greek Row Bum, Frat Row, University of Washington
Like Harry the Husky, Darryl the G.R.B. is a fixture of the UW campus. Bringing him to your fraternity party is like having Britney Spears show up: it's kind of trashy and you might catch a disease, but it says "I'm down with this scene." It's contentious whether or not Darryl is indeed homeless, although he's seen at all hours of the night and is on first-name terms with quite a few of the U's 40,000 students. He stands out among them with his long grey hair and constant rotation of baseball caps.

Level of annoyingness: 1
Probability of meth consumption: 2
 
Pacific Place Popeye, a.k.a "Sarg", Downtown Seattle
Sarg, the eyepatch wearing nutcase, sits in an electronic wheelchair at Pacific Place and yells "God Bless" at Seattleites. Or, at least, it kinda sounds like that's what he's yelling. It sounds a little bit more like "Gawblus."
He's a cantankerous old fart, is Sarg. Often seen with an expensive-looking coffee mug and a Discman, we've seen a good Samaritan hand him a piece of pizza, only to then watch him bark and mumble, throwing the pizza on the ground and continuing to yell "Gawblus." It's doubtful that he's really that homeless, though. He's sometimes seen dressed rather nicely on the Queen Anne hill, arguing with people in grocery stores and barging into things with the automatic wheelchair.

Level of annoyingness: 8
Probability of meth consumption: 8

Barney Boy, the Number 49 Bus, Capitol Hill, Seattle
Barney Boy can't be older than eighteen and he's probably mentally retarded, but I'm on a roll. Most commonly found on the 49 Bus that runs from downtown Seattle to the University district, Barney Boy is the proud owner of a Barney the Dinosaur doll that appears to have been shredded at some point and stitched back together. He is dangerously thin and he favours skipping around the bus, especially at rush hour, and sitting next to as many people as possible. The younger and more female, the better.
The most offensive thing I've seen him do is sit at the very front of the bus and deliberately touch boarding passengers with his Barney doll. He doesn't speak to anyone, just stares at his potential victims. Yeah, he touched me with it. I still haven't managed to get rid of the hives.

Level of annoyingness: 10
Probability of meth consumption: 9
 
Track-mark Tracey, the Number 49 Bus, Capitol Hill, Seattle
This lovely lady spent the better part of a #49 bus trip along 10^th and Broadway relaying the story of trying to get her meth-addicted sister to bail her out of jail to no one at all. I've never seen anyone talk nonstop for fifteen minutes before. Either those were some killer track marks on her arms, or she'd fallen over on small objects many times. Whichever, I was pleased when she and her gang of half-asleep boyfriends got off the bus at Urban Outfitters and started heckling the emo kids inside.

Level of annoyingness: 7
Probability of meth consumption: 10. And the rest.

Juan, corner of 6th and Pine, Seattle
Juan is convinced that the Seattle police are after him. He's also convinced that everyone in Seattle, police included, are communists and that someone is constantly trying to poison him. Evicted from his apartment a few years ago, Juan has been standing on the corner by Nordstrom and Old Navy ever since, telling anyone who'll listen about something he calls "the paper." Apparently, all the communists in Seattle (that is, everyone) signed "the paper" agreeing to aid the police in making his life as difficult as possible. Like the Space Needle and geeks, Juan is becoming a quintessential Seattle cornerstone.

Level of annoyingness: 6
Probability of meth consumption: 8

The Emerald Queen, outside QFC, Capitol Hill, Seattle
This one's a classic Capitol Hill crackpot. While Sign Flipping Jesus has his golden locks and cardboard, and Barney Boy has the evil purple one, the Emerald Queen has green makeup. I mean, we were all there once and we all had some awful eye-shadow colours and nailpolishes. However, I never thought it was cool to sport an entire face full of green makeup. Eye-shadow, lipstick, nailpolish (chipped)... she even has green sparkles on her face, and she wears green clothes. They called Seattle the Emerald City because of the trees, and here is the city's matriarch. She's most commonly found "selling" folded up pieces of paper that she calls origami outside a supermarket on the Hill, shouting at passersby that she's a single mother.

Level of annoyingness: 8
Probability of meth consumption: 9

Masturbation Morton, Manners Mall, Wellington New Zealand
Masturbation Morton sits outside McDonalds at the end of Manners Street in Wellington and whacks off. Walking home at night after hitting the Courtenay Place clubs, you'd see this figure slumped in the doorway, pretty much motionless aside from the vigorous pumping of its right arm.

Level of annoyingness: 6
Probability of meth consumption: 5

Bozo Barfly, Roanoke Pub, 10th and Roanoke, Seattle
This dear old thing was having an in-depth conversation when I rolled up at the Roanoke's sturdy bar in search of a pint. Animated, involved and considerately pausing to listen to her friend's responses, she'd have been thoroughly inconspicuous if it hadn't been for the fact that she was totally alone. Either she was talking to someone who had cunningly mastered the art of invisibility, or she was completely batty.

Level of annoyingness: 1
Probability of meth consumption: 2

 
Toe-Ring Theresa, Exit 182, I-90, Washington
I refuse to believe that you're a down-and-out if you also have toe-rings, hip-hugging jeans and cute little pearly nails with which to grip your "Please help" sign. Toe-Ring Theresa employs the tactic of scowling at drivers exiting the freeway in hopes of guilt-tripping them into handing her a dollar. What the fuck are you raising money for? Next week's People?

Level of annoyingness: 6
Probability of meth consumption: 3

Blow Job Betty, Perry and 2nd, Spokane WA
I've only run a red light once in my life, and it was when I was approached by Blow Job Betty near the charming Pacific Ave in Spokonopolis. I also don't know what it is with me and weird makeup, but this woman was wearing blue lipstick. She's also cross-eyed and about five feet tall. She tried to open the passenger door of my Jeep. The light was red, but there was nothing coming. I hit the gas, and even if I'd run over her feet, I doubt she'd have noticed.

Level of annoyingness: 10
Probability of meth consumption: 10