Your City Here: Bad Slogans Across America

by Jane []

Published on 11/12/06 in Advertising

We don't know if they were trying to be funny, or if these towns' planners were really serious when they adopted some of the worst catchphrases, slogans and mottos that we've ever come across.

Cities are a heavy-weight offender in the game of stupid-slogan-adopting. Seattle recently coined "Metronatural," which confirms all red state suspicions that people in the Pacific Northwest are a bunch of dirty hippies who walk around with no clothes on.

However, Seattle's dumb catchphrase isn't the worst. Towns aren't the only entities that commit these offenses. After the fuss that was made about John Kerry's recent army-oopsie, you'd have thought the military would have reconsidered "Army Strong". It certainly doesn't evoke Yale's learned halls... moreover, I'm getting a sweaty weight-room and eighty pound dumbbells. But I digress.

What follows is a list of the worst city nicknames and slogans in America, plus a couple of other countries' retarded moments, thrown in for good measure.

Cordova, Alaska: The Clam Town
Better, I suppose, than the Crab Town. That honour goes to...

Annapolis, Maryland: Crabtown
There had to be one.

Louisville, Kentucky: We've Got It
Oh, man. I've got it too. Do you know where to get a prescription for that?

Lyons, Kansas: The Unexpected Pleasure
This generally comes right before discovering that You've Got It.

Wichita, Kansas: We Got the Goods
This is what you're thinking before The Unexpected Pleasure. wichita

San Francisco, California: Baghdad by the Bay
When Herb Caen coined the term, "Baghdad by the Bay," the term probably didn't elicit road-side bombs and flag burning. Now, the city's moniker just confirms neocon's idea that, like Seattleites, those in the Bay area are America-haters. baghdad

Wairoa, New Zealand: The Way New Zealand used to be
Small, economically depressed and full of sheep.

Castroville, California: Artichoke Center of the World
You don't have a rose garden or uncanny amount of sunshine that you could have bragged about?

Sumner, Washington: Rhubarb Pie Capital of the USA
It's better than Teenage Pregnancy Capital of the Northwest.

Gallup, New Mexico: The Drunk Driving Capital of America
My Google Image searches confirm why.

Hamilton, New Zealand: More Than You'd Expect
Perhaps accurate in that I've never expected very much from the city whose football team call themselves The Mooloo Men.

Noxubee County, Mississippi: Home of the Dancing Rabbit Festival and Magnolia Pilgrimage
Enough said, maybe?

Sunderland, Great Britain: The Charva Capital of the World
Charva: widely thought of as the scum of British youth today. Fashions sense involves flashy jewelry and counterfeit designer clothes. Uneducated, uncultured, background. Has a tendency to congregate around places such as fast-food outlets and bus stops, and enjoys a culture of antisocial behavior.

Sunderland's other nickname is "council house paradise." To translate once more, council houses are what we call projects. That's something to be proud of, Sunderland. chavs_400

PS...
Spokane, Washington: (No slogan required)

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37 Comments

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SupersonicJ

I am currently living in Sunderland for my University studies, I agree with your observations.

Keep up the good work. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

ScottWill

Let's not forget two of my faves:

Bellingham, WA: City of Subdued Excitement

wow, that sure is exciting. i'm ecstatic, can't you tell? no? too subdued?

Gayville, SD: The Hay Capitol of The World

Did somebody say Heyyyyy?!! FABULOUS!! Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

Fluxx

I'm partial to: "Yakima, WA: The 'Palm Springs' of Washington."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Yakima_Welcome_Sign.jpg

Why anyone would want to try and ride Palm Spring's coat tails is beyond me. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

JaneCopland

It's better than "Yakima: First To Go If Mount Rainier Spews East" Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

Fluxx

Actually, I think Orting is the first to receive Mt. Ranier's super-hot-ash-slap. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

morgan

The last time I drove by this sign, there was a shotgun blast through it. Had there been disenchantment among the fair citizens of Washington's glorious Palm Springs?
Written on 10/4/07

My Comment:

Stip

I would like to add one for my home state. Not just a city but the entire state of West Virginia recently changed it's motto to 'Open for Business' Needless to say residents of the state are not happy with the change and are vehemently protesting the governor's decision. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

ScottWill

Washington's been doing a bang-up job, too. In addition to all of the crappy city-based slogans already mentioned, Washington's new state motto (cleverly crafted over countless meetings, focus groups and apparently ginormous doobies) is the oh-so-idiotic:

Say WA

Yep, that's not a joke. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

Fluxx

Lotta not reading going on in this article/comments ;) Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

ScottWill

I was first out of the gate with Say WA by 14 minutes! Come on now... Written on 12/12/06

My Comment:

JaneCopland

That would have been a clever pun, if you wanted confusion and bewilderment to be ever associated with your town. Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

Joshua

You forgot about Seattle, WA's brand spanking new slogan. Gracefully atop the Space Needle now too:

Metronatural

Yeah, that's right. Metronatural. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

JaneCopland

Seattle recently coined "Metronatural," which confirms all red state suspicions that people in the Pacific Northwest are a bunch of dirty hippies who walk around with no clothes on.

First paragraph of the article. Proves you didn't read it :P Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

Fluxx

From the first paragraph of the article...
Seattle recently coined "Metronatural," which confirms all red state suspicions that people in the Pacific Northwest are a bunch of dirty hippies who walk around with no clothes on.
Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

Joshua

haahaha. Ooops. Guess I skipped to the goods. Nice call out. Written on 12/12/06

My Comment:

sashaK

Hehe, no problem... People who say they don't do that are just liars, anyway :) Written on 12/12/06

My Comment:

findlay

Unfortunate. The Emerald City at least had some character if not class. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

CygnusX1

"metronatural", c/o the Seattle Chamber of Commerce, followed on the heels of an equally brillant campain (pun intended) proposed by some dumb-ass State Gov'ment committee: "SayWA" (as in WAshington State).

mah 2 bits. Written on 11/12/06

My Comment:

Andrea

You forgot the huge, fake chains, the Burberry and the cider (which is far more popular than vodka in their circles- cheaper and tastes just that little bit more like urine. Considering where they get it from, it probably is.)

Oh, and the ipod plugged into speakers with bad quality "MCing" spewing out for the joys of everyone else.

Too much makeup, raised collars, tracksuits tucked into socks...

http://sapiens.ya.com/alferez1521/images/chavs.jpg Good old Google. Written on 12/12/06

My Comment:

JaneCopland

This is too funny! I try to explain to my American friends what it is to be "common" or a chav, and the only analogy I can come up with is what they call "white trash." But it's still so different... Someone should write a piece for Drivl all about chavs... Andrea? You want to? Written on 12/12/06

My Comment:

morgan

The photo file there reminds me of what we here in the US call a
"trailer slut".

Written on 10/4/07

My Comment:

MildlyDisturbed

Might wanna change the headline - lot of these are not in America... globalize it ;) Written on 12/12/06

My Comment:

JaneCopland

I added a globalization disclaimed in the text; "Across America" just sounds too good... like a bad Dateline NBC show. Written on 12/12/06

My Comment:

hamitonguy

Some other slogans for Hamilton, New Zealand:

- Hamiltron, city of the future (the only good one ever made)
- Hamilton, gateway to Raglan (a small surfing town 30mins away)
- Hamilton, just like Morrinsville but bigger (a small, slightly depressing town nearby) Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

JaneCopland

I wanted City of Waikato (C.O.W)

It disappointed me when Napier and Hastings would not play nicely and make Hawke's Bay City. Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

codyg1985

Noxubee County is in Mississippi, not Alabama. Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

JaneCopland

[Edited]
Thanks :) Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

GreenMoose

Wichita, Kansas: We Got the Goods

This is what you're thinking before The Unexpected Pleasure.

lol... I live in Wichita and I remember seeing all the commercials and billboards with this slogan... It made me laugh. :D Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

willsmith

Bristol, TN/VA: A Good Place to Live.

They liked the understated slogan so much they put it on a 50 foot lightbulb sign. Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

brklynmark

A personal favorite, with the evidence on my Flickr to prove it -
Brooklyn: How Sweet It Is!

Let me assure you - "sweet" is the last word anyone on the face of the planet would use to describe Brooklyn.

http://flickr.com/photos/brklynmark/286493749/ Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

Tony

I drive through Utah a lot, and I always shake my head when I pass the through the small interstate-dependent city of Tremonton:

Tremonton, UT: Food, Fuel, and FUN!

I can't think of anywhere else I've been able to find some fun while getting my food and fuel. What a great convenience to have all three in one place.

Is there nothing better for your little town to aspire to? Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

arkan

When I was growing up I lived not too far away from Eatonville, FL. It used to bill itself as the oldest black township in the US until some town up north called 'em on it. Anyway, for the longest time their slogan was "A Weed and Seed Community." and they had a huge sign saying as much as you drove through town. Nothing like advertising the local economy! Written on 13/12/06

My Comment:

BMF

How can Tisdale, Saskatchewan be left out? The Land Of Rape and Honey, which also supplied the band Ministry with and album title. The Rape is for rapeseed, which is commonly used in the manufacture of Canola oil.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tisdale,_Saskatchewan
Written on 14/12/06

My Comment:

RainofAngels

Please, there is the New hampshire state motto Live Free or Die....

I had someone, from out of state, tell me our motto was right: Live FREEZE or Die.

Oh help me. It wasn't even winter, and the dude thought it was cold. Written on 31/1/07