Hyenas are badass... You probably already knew that. But what's even more badass is some dude dressed up like a pirate, walking through the middle of town with a pet Hyena on a chain.

I'm so gonna get one of those... I need one.  Especially at work (I run the door @ a nightclub)  All I have at work is a stupid flashlight. People don't respect flashlights... they respect Hyenas. Especially big gnarly ones with bloodthirsty appetites for people who dance like pricks.

Come to think of it... I could probably replace the entire security staff with just that one Hyena. Those things are fast as shit.... I'm sure it could get anywhere in the club in less than 6 seconds. They probably break up fights really well. Plus, hyenas don't hit on ugly drunk chicks and they don't give a shit about money... Unless you got a dead zebra in your wallet, they're practically impossible to bribe. I want that ugly fucker just roaming the club wearing a radio and earpiece, so I can bark orders at it:  "Whats that? The guy on table 73 doesn't want to pay for his second bottle. That's cool... I'll just send over the Hyena."

Who's got the last laugh now?

Me and my fucking Hyena... that's who.