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Scott Willoughby

Drivl's Best (unwritten) Stories of 2006

by Scott Willoughby []
Published on 2/1/07 in Web
Write the stories we didn't get a chance to! Here's your chance to steal our thunder and snark your way to fame and glory!
We here at Drivl are just chock-a-block with ideas; so much so that we don't get a chance to actually write articles for all of them.  As such, we're inviting you, dear reader, to help us bring our best unused headlines of 2006 to fruition!

It's easy! Pick your favorite from our list of bizarre, unwritten story titles and then just write a story to go with it. Submit it and, if you're as awesome as we know you are, we'll put your story on Page Two. If you're ultra-super-uber-awesome we might even put you on the Front Page!  Fame and fortune surely await you!

Without further ado, here are our best unused headlines of 2006...enjoy, and happy writing!

  1. Oh God! The Gays can Ski
  2. Sorry, It is Your Sister in the Video
  3. I'll Show You Tough Spaghetti Mr. Knickerbocker
  4. Hell Slightly Coldier this Week
  5. You've Never Seen Testicular Torsion Like This Before
  6. It'd be Tastier if it Were a Taco
  7. Awfully Warm for Pants and Socks
  8. My Brother Totally Farts Like That!
  9. See This? This is all Spice Money
  10. Captain Hipper-than-Thou says You're Lame
  11. Give That Girl Some Insulin
  12. Sub-Saharan Africa Out, Super-Saharan Africa AWESOME!
  13. What Kind of Monkey Crawled up Your Ass?
  14. And for My Next Trick...Blow Me
  15. Assistant Water-Girl to the Assistant Crack-Whore is a Noble Profession
  16. So, Abercrombie is Totally Gay, Right?
  17. Screw You, Samuel Beckett
  18. Claire Danes is an Unsung Hero of the Lesbians
  19. George Bush Told My Dog to Tell Me to Tell You that You Should Die
  20. This Just In: God Dead, Puppies DELICIOUS!
  21. She Fucks with a Fifth Grade Sodomy Level!
  22. Middle-East 43% Sandier than Corner-East
  23. Let Me Show You to My Meat-Grinder
  24. You Wouldn't Know Funny if it Hit You Between Your Ass and a Hole in the Ground
  25. Are Canadians Real?
  26. I Think Feces Is Not As Good As Pie
  27. 9 Out of 10 Dentists Have Told Me I'm Ugly
  28. Why The Fuck Doesn't Anybody Speak Esperanto?
  29. All This Using Only a Shovel
  30. No, Really, It Tastes Like Hookers
  31. Cobbling, Haberdashery Growth Industries
 

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10 Comments

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Rebecca

Rebecca Kelley
You better not let us down, readers! Those are some primo headlines we're giving you! Written on 2/1/07

JaneCopland

Jane
Sorry, It is Your Sister in the Video


My BF (now HF, Rebecca :P) had the brilliant idea for a new reality show. Late at night on shithouse channels like E!, they play those ads for Girls Gone Wild. Chris's charming idea was to play footage of Dads who are up late, watching TV, drooling over the GGW ads, only to suddenly see little Aimee and her sorority sisters making out in Cancun. The horror sets in, the boner dies immediately and Daddy can never look his little pumpkin angel in the face again. VH1? You interested? Written on 2/1/07

coffeeguru

Brandon E
I'm totally taking "OH GOD! THE GAYS CAN SKI!!"

just you wait for the best shit you will read. ever. in your entire life. EVER. Written on 2/1/07

JaneCopland

Jane
You best make good on this promise, coffee man! Written on 2/1/07

coffeeguru

Brandon E
bring it, woman!

If you can pull strings and get it to the front page, you'll be my hero for ALL. TIME.

besides, who can go wrong writing about a bunch of 'mo's skiing? that's comic gold, my friend! Written on 2/1/07

JaneCopland

Jane
How many nicknames for homosexuals do you know? More than I know for Australians, I'm sure. And I know a few. Written on 2/1/07

coffeeguru

Brandon E
I could come up with quite a few, I'm sure.
Maybe I can turn that into a project for my english class??

"more words for homosexual then there are trees in washington....."
or
"there are more words for homosexual then a dragqueen has shoes....." Written on 2/1/07

GasperRubino

gasper
are there really that many trees in washington , and is that the state or the capitol? Written on 4/1/07

coffeeguru

Brandon E
Washington the state. not the Capitol. And we don't call it the Evergreen State for nothing, son.

And yes, there are that many trees. Written on 4/1/07

JaneCopland

Jane
If it were the capital, we'd be calling it Washington D.C.

D

C

Raaaaa.

Friend From Home: "So you have you ever seen the President?"
Me: "No, but I might have, when he came to SEATTLE." Written on 4/1/07

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