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Jane

"I have a date with a girl and my ass is bleeding"

by Jane []
Published on 12/1/07 in Web
... and other weird search queries.

Thanks to our fancy analytics, we can see how you search engine users find Drivl on Google, Yahoo! and various other engines. Ha ha. Below are some of the most interesting searches that have brought you, our audience, from the vast void of the Net, to Drivl. We've sorted them into six categories and attempted to answer some of the more taxing queries. Now we're off to have a shot of Jim Beam and to cry about the state of the universe.

You Dumb Shit
Viewing people through the computer
How do I make my computer do something when it starts
What happened in the 90s
What doesn't move
        (The neurological pathways within your brain)
People who are not a fast runner slow at typing and spell wrong
        (Possibly the answer to the previous question)
Do stuff with your computer like the people in the film hackers
Do a code to get unlimited minutes on your phone
Master bating tips
What did people do before laptops were invented?
I put in too much garlic salt
Are shrink rays real
My computer's sound does not go on
What happens when a guy has a boner

You Sick Bastard
Dakota Fanning naked picture
John Travolta naked
       (I sincerely hope this was for your "Grossest Things of All Time" project)
Tara Reid naked
       (You forgot to add "in 1999")
How long does it take the average guy to masturbate
Fetus in a jar buy 
Naked zwinky
       (Did you also search for the first item on this list?)
Zwinky sex hot
Hottest Dakota Fanning pic
       (Perhaps I should start a separate "Dakota Fanning" category?)
Developing boobs
Most horrible dead videos
Horrible died people
Does it feel good to stuff things up your ass

What the Hell:
Sex toon fruit cups
Did someone hack into my computer? Is that you in there? Get out now!
        (Yes! It's the guy with the schizophrenia medication! Get him! Get him!)
King Bumba
Muffin funny
Dakota Fanning feet
Badger on the toilet
Brushing teeth fetish
Is it possible to collect all the cookie dough in chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and actually bake cookies from it?
Bizarre ass
        (Yes you are)
Headache at orgasm
My chicken has eaten rat poison
What would happen if a human ate rat poison

Oh-So-Sad
How to be social
How to get discovered in Hollywood
I have a date with a girl and my ass is bleeding
I'm too fat for a BF

Peeing
Peeing
Peeing story
Pee pants story
Peeing in my pants
Pee your pants stories
She peed her pants
Badly peeing
Pee pants while studying
Peed pants video
Peed my pants stories
I peed my pants
I had to pee in my pants
My girlfriend peed her pants on our date
Peed her pants
Pee in closet

Random funnies
Kevin Rose is an asshole
I can't stand children
How to deal with bitches
What the fuck should I do for a job
Excerise against man boobs
Matt Inman FBI

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2 Comments

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I would just like to add that MSN is full of shit when it shows the "popular searches". We all know that the most popular search of the day is not "Winona Ryder" and "Millenials". Who the fuck in this world is giving a damn about the Millenial Generation and Winona Ryder. I hope that one day MSN has the balls to state that the number one search is sex, or porn, or Dakota Fanning. Whatever.

peace Written on 12/11/07
I really can't argue with that. Written on 21/12/07

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