Members login Not a member yet? Sign up
Él Tiburon

Douchetooth

by Él Tiburon []
Published on 25/1/07 in Culture
Look at me! I'm just like Lieutenant Uhura!
I know I have some misplaced anger issues and a hyperactive annoyance factor, but Drivl's "About" section said I can bitch about whatever I want, so if this applies to you, shut it:

Bluetooth Headsets.

In the car? Fine. In the grocery store? Douche Bag. In a bar? HUGE Douche Bag. You don't look cool and we are not impressed. You look like a complete tool. But you know what--keep it up. Hearing your douchy voice at full volume coming down the aisle, blathering about fantasy football or the details of your last attempted date rape helps us identify you as a Douche Bag quicker. It gives us more time to blow snot rockets on your puddin' pops.

I would also like to comment on the pic above: This guy has several douchy things going on. Note the double earrings, Oakley wraps (upside down), and the 'popped collar.' Ugh. I would empty my nose on this asswipe.

I'm all for technology and the modern convenience of hands-free communication, but don't be a douche about it. Unless you're Lou Ferrigno or George Jetson, let's not clip the electronics to our ears, nnn-k?

Tag & Vote

Technorati Technorati Tags:
bluetooth, headsets, douchetooth, douche, popped collar
Social Bookmark:
Submit to Del.icio.us Submit to Digg Submit to Reddit
Vote:
 4.7 (10 votes) Login to vote

Share, it's good for you


Copy and paste the code above to post this story on your MySpace or Blog.

18 Comments

Wanna comment? Signup!

JaneCopland

Jane
The dude in the picture has a douchey haircut too.

I gotta say: I've never seen anyone using a douchetooth in a bar. I saw a woman apparently talking to herself once, but I'm pretty sure she was just batshit crazy. Written on 25/1/07

coffeeguru

Brandon E
it's usally really hard to tell if someone is using said douchtooth or is bathsit crazy.

i tend to lean twards bat shit crazy.

the worst part is when people are in the bathroom on said douchtooth. ugh. Written on 25/1/07

JaneCopland

Jane
or is bathsit crazy.


Bathsit crazy is when you're on the phone while you're washing yourself? Written on 25/1/07

coffeeguru

Brandon E
duh. everyone know that, jane. Written on 25/1/07

ecable

Elliott Cable
Hmmmm bathsith crazy! Sith take baths? That *is* pretty crazy. Written on 6/2/07

Rebecca

Rebecca Kelley
Oh man. HI-larious. Written on 25/1/07

MildlyDisturbed

Paul King
I have one of those earthingies. I love it in the car or at home. I had been talking to a friend of mine one day and then discovered that quite by accident I had left it on and wandered into a group of my friends with it running and nearly had to commit sepaku Written on 25/1/07

MrStitch

Shawn
Hahaha... oh thats good.

I totally agree. I live out in the midwest, and I seen one of these freaks using these things. Why oh god would ANYONE think they're so darn cool out here... Uhg... it was one of those "I want to break you in half" moments. ;) Written on 25/1/07

Penelope

Lydia Ramos
My God I thought I was the only one who thought those stupid things were ridiculous. I mean they don't look cool they look like you just got attacked by the Borg, and they are slowly trying to assimilate you.
I'm always withing for someone who has one of those things to walk up to me and say "Resistance is futile". All I know if they start walking towards me I run and fast. Not because I think they might assimilate me because I just don't want to be seen with a douche bag. Written on 26/1/07

tiburonbite

Él Tiburon
All Your Douche Are Belong to Us. Written on 26/1/07

blitzhund

William Paris
Brilliant! I was standing in line at the grocery store when someone behind me started going "Excuse me, excuse me!" and I turned and said yes. The girl turned to me with a great big blue neon douchetooth sticking out of her ear and said "Oh, sorry I'm on the phone".

Chavtastic! Written on 26/1/07

JaneCopland

Jane
Chavtastic!


Love it. Are you British? Written on 26/1/07

1hairyloufa

Hunkington
I must admit, this is a truthful, hard-hitting expose. As far as douchie-ness is concerned, them things are no doubt polarizing. God dammit, there are so many d-bags out there. It's awesome. Written on 27/1/07

boycat

boycat
Heh.
You're welcome for the picture. :)
I've got a couple more from this shoot... that one was the best.
Although.. the other day, I got a better one...


I was sitting and this woman and her small child were walking by while I was filming the snow, and she was talking and the child was *intently* listening to what she was saying, as if the mother were explaining something to her child.

Then as they got closer I realized how "adult" and "intricate" the conversation was - it was very //fast-paced// (not inappropriate, just not something someone walking their child would be pegged to be talking about).

I was like... wow.... this 5 year old must me some sort of prodigious miracle child. ... then I watched the mother reach up, brush her hair back from her ear to momentarily expose the earpiece.

.. not that it was so obscenely socially "faux-pas" as wearing one of these in a bar, which I see all the time... but it was definitely the most 'took-me-offguard' scenario so far...


anyway. nice writing.

-jre Written on 29/1/07

RainofAngels

Chris
there is one guy comes into my store, always has one atached to his head. not always ON, but it's still ATTACHED and it looks BLOODY RIDICULOUS! Written on 31/1/07

Ratz

Pat
What about those stupid sunglasses with built in douchetooth phone tech? Written on 6/2/07

Woeful

Woeful
Prepare to be ASSimilated. Written on 24/2/07

MC_10-56

Joshua Paddock
Whenever I see someone wearing a douchetooth in a public setting, I want to go up to them and talk in my best Marlee Matlin voice while waving my hands around in pidgin sign language. Written on 22/3/07

Wanna comment? Signup!