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Jane

The Most Incredible New Weight Loss Discovery EVER!

by Jane []
Published on 8/2/07 in Advertising
You HAVE to try this great new way to lose weight fast and keep it off! Call now and receive a FREE sixty-day trial!
Imagine if you could lose stubborn fat and irritating inches from your hips, thighs and buttocks in less than thirty days!

Sound too good to be true? You've been on diets before, and STILL you haven't lost those pounds! Wait no longer. The solution to obtaining your dream body is finally here!

In a major university study, scientists have discovered that a new activity may contain rare health benefits and could accelerate weight-loss up to ten times the normal rate. In fact, scientists in Thailand are calling this "the most amazing weight loss discovery ever." 

We are so excited about this that we're willing to let you try this for free for sixty days. If you haven't lost ten pounds and more than two inches from your waistline in that time, we'll refund your money and GIVE you another month's subscription FREE!

Tests have proven that this is the next big revolution in losing weight and keeping that weight off. By burning more calories than ever before, you can reduce the visible signs of aging, enhance your lung capacity and feel great, all day long! And remember! We'll let you try it FREE!

Check out what people are saying!

Caroline, Columbia, MO:
"This has totally revolutionized the way I look. I can't believe how easy it was! This totally works... and you get to try it, risk-free for sixty days!"

 John, Providence, RI:
"I've lost thirty pounds and dropped five pants sizes. I weigh what I did in college! This is amazing!" womanlostweight1

Bella, Thorp, WI
"My husband can't believe it. I look better now than I did on my wedding day. You have to try this!"

It's been on Oprah, 60 Minutes and Rachael Ray, and Hollywood is raving about this. Everyone from the stars to their personal assistants is signing up, but you needn't be left out! YOU can discover the incredible benefits for yourself AND, just by being one of the first hundred callers, you can also receive FREE twenty-four hour support for the entirety of your sixty day trial!

Call now and we'll send you our literature and the sixty-day trial for free. Remember: you have NOTHING TO LOSE apart from UNWANTED bodyfat! You won't believe the difference!  

1877-START-RUNNING.

You WON'T regret it!



















/false advertisement. Goddamnit, people. Turn off Doctor Phil, get off the fucking sofa and run your fat asses around the fucking block.

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9 Comments

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Caio

Caio Pereira
Ohhh... The hard truth.

I'd be careful. The Internet is full of fat-rights activists, and they'll literally try to suffocate you online... tread cautiously. Written on 8/2/07

Penelope

Lydia Ramos
The other I was at the store and I saw an advertisement for an AMAZING weight loss pill. And in the tiniest letters you ever saw it said on the bottom: with proper diet and exercise. Well at the rate screw the pills! Come on people you don't have to run 10 miles a day instead how about instead of watching tv for an hour go outside and take a walk! ANYTHING just get off the couch..... Written on 8/2/07

blitzhund

William Paris
AMAZING NEW PROGRAM!

IT'S SIMPLE - IT'S GREAT - IT'S EASY

Stop eatin' all that mutha-f'n pie and get up off your Wal*mart sized econo-arse! Written on 9/2/07

Dante

Alexis
Think people all what we have to do is just turn off computer and tv. Imposible ?? no is just to stop smoking or stop drinking or stop breathing Written on 9/2/07

Fluxx

Jeff Pollard
This is like the "If you don't have the money don't buy stuff" financial plan from SNL. Written on 9/2/07

CygnusX1

CygnusX1
"How DARE you make such disparaging remarks against BMI challenged individuals!?! Why, it makes me wanna sit on your face until the nasty BO from my many folds and pockets overwhelms you!"

Yeah, get the f___ outside and DO something, fatty! Written on 9/2/07

MWillMS

M Williams
Hmm, witty. Is that the word...no...no I don't think so.
While I do agree that the majority of people's weight problems could be solved by a simple walk around the block once a day, I think you took too broad a stroke with this rant. As an example: People with spinal conditions such as Spondylolisthesis who have a difficult time with high impact regimens or those diagnosed with Thyroid imbalances. I know quite a few. Yes I understand that you are aiming this at those who have the means and do nothing, but your broad generalizations may seem otherwise to some.

Or maybe you're just ignorant to the whole matter. Written on 13/2/07

JaneCopland

Jane
Grow. A. Sense. Of. Humour.

If this was a medical journal, you'd be right. But it's Drivl, so you're just humourless. I don't think this is the website for you. Written on 15/2/07

Edward

Edward
The sad thing is there are so many people out there lapping this crap up. What's happening to the ability to think! Would you hire someone who takes this shit? Written on 21/2/07

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