Letting people see that you've viewed their profile
Come. On. This is a bleeding awful feature. Imagine that it's real life and you're at a bar. Your boyfriend's ex walks in. Bitch. You want to look at her but a giant neon sign will appear above your head if you lay eyes on her. The sign says, "HEY, CLAIRE! KATE IS LOOKING AT YOU! She's just read your blog and she's gonna take a look at your latest photos!"
Asking to be paid
We realize letting people see who views their profiles is an invasion of privacy, so we'll limit this to paid accounts. Give us twenty bucks a month to see who's spying on you! Back to real life: you walk into the bar and hand the bouncer a wad of cash so you can see whose neon signs lights up.
Trying to disprove Darwinism
Don't try and pick out dates from social media sites. Just don't do it. Everyone's highly dateable online, and the usual percentage of people are highly undateable in the flesh. Pictures can be airbrushed and blogs tailored to only reflect the cool things people might have done. Survival of the fittest is turning into Survival of the Photoshopped.
What you think you're getting
What's waiting at the restaurant
Tricking you into "inviting" your friends to their wanky site
Sites that ask you to give them access to your Yahoo! or Hotmail accounts so they can spam everyone in your address books with "invitations" to join their stupid network. The emails appear to be "from" you and include some pithy little wad of crap about how you discovered this awesome website! Nine-thousand people are now members! You can register by clicking here. Come join Jangxaxr today!
Tricking you into "inviting" random people to their wanky site
Several social networking sites have nasty boxes that look like you can search for people by email address instead of name. What actually happens is that the email address you type in gets sent an ass-licking little invitation... from you. So if you're looking for some heinous cow you went to high school with to see how ugly her kids are, she's going to see your name blasted all over her invite.
Letting you block other users and still keep tabs on them
That's just rude. If you block someone from viewing your profile or seeing your horrid little paw-prints trekking all over some networking site, you shouldn't retain the ability to see all of their actions. That's not fair. I've never blocked anyone online. You know why? Because I'm not so far up my own ass that I think I'm prime viewing material.
Letting bands join
The one good thing MySpace ever did was allow users to prevent bands from adding them as friends. Bands on networking sites are just condoned spam. Unsolicited soliciting doesn't get any less moronic when you're an edgy L.A. funk trio with Zeppelin roots and airs of Stone Temple Pilots underneath a punk- rock folky reggae beat. Fuck off.
Asking for ALL of your personal information
Hey Buttknuckle. I wanted to sign up for a fun networking site where I can make witty comments on my friends' message boards and post pictures of my Christmas party. I do not want to give you my full address (Apartment number and street name, cockwad!), home phone number and alternate email accounts.
Sending out goddamn newslettes
A newsletter from MySpace. What better thing to see when I open my email account in the morning. Why, you have 158,900,901 registered users now do you, dear? And only 58,902,016 of them are bands, "events", mortgage brokers and hookers!
Covering their asses by "requiring" everyone to be thirteen
So you're twelve, huh? Your computer knows this how? Oh, crap! You put in the wrong birthday and told Bebo that you were twelve! Log out, open a new browser and tell it you're eighteen. View Bebo porn.
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Edward
between3n12
Rebecca
Lisafer
JaneCopland
Scandalnavia
JaneCopland
sportrider
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