Members login Not a member yet? Sign up
Rebecca Kelley

Why This Girl is Bawling

by Rebecca Kelley []
Published on 21/3/07 in Television
If you had to sit through two hours of live American Idol, wouldn't you look like this, too?
I was watching American Idol last night (more out of obligation than sheer enjoyment--everyone and their mother watch this damn show, so I suck it up, FF3 through about 65% of it [thank you, DVR], and enjoy my inclusion in the social circle) when, during Sanjaya's deeply disturbing rendition of "You Really Got Me," the cameras kept cutting over to a girl (pictured) who was bawling, blubbering, and hyperventilating. And, much like roughly half the AI-watching audience, I totally lost it. It was so freakin' hilarious, I couldn't help myself.

Other than the two obvious reasons why this girl looks like she's going to throw up (she either has American Idol hysteria, which is not unlike Beatle Mania or New Kids on the Blockitis, or she thought Sanjaya's performance was so chest-heavingly awful that her entire innocence was shattered with one homoerotic hip swivel), I thought I'd take a stab at some other explanations as to why this girl totally lost her shit on live television:
  1. She misses squeezing the fun out of Squeeze-Its, and she wishes someone would start making them again (and none of that Kool-Aid Bursts bullshit, either).
  2. Right before the show started taping, her dad bought her Pan's Labyrinth to watch because he heard it was a "fairy tale," and kids like fairy tales, right?
  3. When she went up to Paula Abdul to ask for her autograph during the commercial break, she realized that up close the judge looks like Large Marge.
    largemarge
  4. She was sad about something, and then Simon Cowell noticed and said her crying was a "caberet performance" straight out of a "hotel bar," which only made her cry harder.
  5. She confessed to Ryan Seacrest that she has the biggest crush on him, and he responded by asking for her brother's phone number.
  6. She can't believe that Happy Feet won Best Animated Film Oscar over Cars. Seriously, that's pretty weak.
  7. She's worried that Jennifer Hudson has inspired other American Idol flunkies to think that they too can win Oscars by starring in movie musicals, and she just can't handle the thought of seeing that many overrated films.
  8. She also can't handle the recent 80s fashion resurgance. Skinny pants only look good on anorexic girls, and she'll never be able to pull them off.
  9. Someone asked her if she wanted to see new pictures of "Harry Potter's wand," and then showed her promotional images of Daniel Radcliff in Equis.
  10. She just found out that Angelina Jolie decided to adopt some Vietnamese kid instead of her.

Tag & Vote

Technorati Technorati Tags:
American Idol, crying girl
Social Bookmark:
Submit to Del.icio.us Submit to Digg Submit to Reddit
Vote:
 3.3 (6 votes) Login to vote

Share, it's good for you


Copy and paste the code above to post this story on your MySpace or Blog.

18 Comments

Wanna comment? Signup!

Fluxx

Jeff Pollard
According to GMA this morning, Sanjaya is still on teh show due to the internet and all his friends in India who keep calling. Thanks Diane Sawyer! Written on 21/3/07

Rebecca

Rebecca Kelley
Of course a serious, hard-nosed journalist like herself would only report the most dire, important world news... Written on 21/3/07

Fluxx

Jeff Pollard
You'd think, but we got Grammys to win in 10 months! Written on 21/3/07

girlinlove

Girlinlove
I remember that girl from the audience! I seriously thought, at first, that she was having the same reaction I was having to Sanjaya appearing on stage-horror, shock, disgust and pity, but then I figured she had secured herself a pretty sweet deal for an American Idol fan. She got to go on stage and hug everybody! The girl next to her in the audience, who I can only assume was her sister, was probably pretty pissed off when the dust settled. I mean, come on. All you gotta do is go to American Idol and cry, and you get on stage?? Come to think of it, that girl missed her chance to totally steal the show. Next thing you know, we'll have Idol hopefuls showing up in audience, crying, and winning the whole thing. After all...we already know, despite Simon's desperate insistence to the contrary, that this is, in fact, not a singing competition. Written on 21/3/07

Rebecca

Rebecca Kelley
The girl next to her in the audience, who I can only assume was her sister, was probably pretty pissed off when the dust settled.

Did you see the look on that girl's face when Bawling Girl got to go up on stage and hug everyone at the end of the episode? I thought she was going to stab her sister. She looked so pissed. Written on 21/3/07

girlinlove

Girlinlove
yeah.... If you had to sit next to your stupid little sister at American Idol (don't forget, the little snit got the aisle seat, too), and then she made a big scene like she always does, got on stage, on tv, blah blah blah...you'd be pretty ticked, too. She's not gonna let that one go for a while. I'm a sister, I know how these things work.

Picture this...one day, little girl gets married....big sis has a fit during the vows, cries, carries on....oh, sweet vengeance. Written on 21/3/07

JaneCopland

Jane
That girl creeped me the fuck out. Seriously, I see a chi-mo van picking her up and squealing away from the curb... the next thing you know, ten seconds later, the van comes screeching halt, the doors open and she's tossed back out onto the pavement. What was that you once said about Dakota Fanning, Rebecca? Written on 21/3/07

JaneCopland

Jane
May I add: fuck Sanjaya. Stephanie Edwards? W.T.F?

This is why Bush is president. Written on 22/3/07

Rebecca

Rebecca Kelley
Sanjaya making the top 10 means he gets to be in the American Idol tour. To whomever frequents those concerts, all I have to say is you get what you pay (and vote) for. Written on 22/3/07

tiburonbite

Él Tiburon

I never realized how much Large Marge looked like Bill the Cat.

ack. Written on 22/3/07

ScottWill

Scott Willoughby
Wow! Very astute observation. That's fuckin' freaky. Written on 23/3/07

Nosmik

Kimson
Has anyone else seen this? Poor girl's gonna die Written on 22/3/07

JaneCopland

Jane
Oh lord. Well, I guess if you're into rapid weight loss, this is the way to go. Written on 22/3/07

girlinlove

Girlinlove
note the "Toile" wallpaper in the background of her youtube video. Coincidence? I think not. Written on 22/3/07

ScottWill

Scott Willoughby
Ahhhh! You're right! It's hideous! Perhaps before going on the Anorexican Idol diet she warmed up with a bout of Binge-n-Toile to both lose a few pounds and, apparently, decorate the walls. Written on 23/3/07

Rebecca

Rebecca Kelley
Anorexican sounds like what you become when you drink the water in Mexico. Written on 23/3/07

fatback

Francis
Speaking of mildly racist comments (but not really because I'll say bless your heart after it)...The are over a billion people in India, and we know those mother fuckers can man some phones. I think he's got the home team on the job. Bless his heart. See? All better. Written on 28/3/07

JaneCopland

Jane
We should have her write for Drivl. Written on 23/3/07

Wanna comment? Signup!