No. Sorry. You're not. Everybody doesn't get a trophy in the real world. There are three Olympic medals--gold, silver, and bronze. That's because, at best, there are only two people who get to share the winner's limelight--the poor saps who came in second and third. As for all the other losers who competed, that's just what they are--losers. It's not that losers are bad people. Hell, I'm a loser, you're a loser...we all lose at something. Some of us lose at so many things we shouldn't get out of bed in the morning just to take a break from being such a disappointment.
Unfortunately, more and more little kids over the last 30 years have been told in their classrooms and on their sports teams that "everybody wins." I saw a commercial for a kiddie beauty pageant not too long ago where the tagline was "Everybody gets a trophy!" Excuse me, but I thought a beauty pageant was the pinnacle of cutthroat competition--pitting the beauties against the ordinary cute and goofy people who make up the other 98% of the population. Lipstick, bathing suits, nail polish fumes, and unabashed "winners" totally willing to cheat, win, and flaunt their sparkly crowns with pride.
Not so with the little ones anymore. That kind of crap always starts with kids. Who knows, a few years from now beauty pageants may be banned because of the way they make ugly girls feel...well...ugly. Not that I personally like the exaltation of super-skinny Barbie girls--I am an average chick myself; it's the freedom to continue a system of merit that I think is being threatened. Whether it's so-called beauty, heroism, athletic ability, artistic talent, or charm--those who exceed standards ought to get recognized for it. Or, at the very least, the people who generally suck shouldn't be lied to and told that they are "just as good" as the best.
How to combat this problem? If we all unite in support of honest judgment, we may be able to reverse the self-esteem movement's demonization of opinion and naked truth. A few things we can all commit to doing every now and then:
- Just say it. No. You aren't a good singer. (That one's for you, Sanjaya.)
- Don't be afraid to point out a mistake at work just to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Fuck feelings. Get good at your job or get over it.
- Parents: stop insisting your kid is the best at everything. If the little guy can't read, don't let him go on to the next grade. Get some tutoring, for crying out loud.
- Refuse to spend money on crap. Send your food back if it's wrong, or refuse to tip for bad service. Tipping is a reward, not a given component of a waitress's paycheck.
- Get friends who won't lie to you, and stop lying to yourself. If you can't dance/sing/play the guitar, then find something you can do and just do it.
It's time to stop telling your sister than the turkey was awesome. Be honest when your aunt asks you why you don't wear that sweater she knitted. Listen to your best friend whine about that guy who just doesn't like her, and tell her--hey, he just doesn't like you, but somebody out there will.
Especially if you wax your upper lip and lose 15 pounds.
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