On Monday my boyfriend and I ducked into a Jack in the Box to grab a quick bite to eat on our lunch breaks. We sat across from each other, humongous greasy burgers in our hands. I picked up a curly fry and was about to pop it in my mouth when I stopped. And stared.

"What?" He asked.
"There's a guy..." I said, trying to suppress a giggle.
"...yeah..."
"...behind you..."
"Uh huh..."
"...and he's dressed like Link."

My bf's face expressed confusion. "What, you mean he's wearing all green or something?" Then he turned around to see what the hell I was talking about. He turned back to look at me, his mouth agape in wonder and awe.

No, it wasn't a college kid decked out in green from head to toe. This was a chubby, pimply guy sitting at a table wearing what I can only describe as a barely passable Link costume.

Okay, let me backtrack. For those of you who don't know what or who the hell "Link" is, he's the main character in the Legend of Zelda game series. Link almost always sports a green tunic, a green hat, brown boots, brownish pants, a sword, and a shield. It's a pretty distinct outfit.

This particular kid was wearing a green bandanna, a long green t-shirt, and gray sweatpants tucked into brown work boots. He also had a Yoshi key chain somehow clipped onto him (not on a belt loop, because I'm assuming belt loops on sweatpants haven't yet become the new fashion sensation). And he was fervently reading a book about the history of Nintendo. I'm not kidding.

We noticed something sticking out of the pack on this back, and we got all excited at the possibility of it being his Master Sword. When we threw away our garbage, however, we were disappointed to see that it was only an aluminum baseball bat ("Probably upgraded from a wooden baseball bat!" my boyfriend optimistically pointed out).

I wasn't really surprised to see someone wearing a ridiculous outfit in the heart of the University District, as the stretch of streets and businesses next to the college campus is often rife with weirdos. What caught me off guard and amused me was the absurd execution of this kid's costume.

I mean, clearly he's obsessed with all things Nintendo. He's reading the equivalent of the console's bible, for crying out loud. You'd think that someone who's that obsessed with Zelda would at least craft together a less pathetic costume. The only reason I can think of for such shoddy workmanship is that he just started out on his quest and thus only has the small wallet, so he can't carry the sufficient amount of rupees required to upgrade his costume; hence, he used what he had on hand.

If you're reading this, Poor Man's Link, I hereby award you an 'A' for effort, but a 'D' in execution. Don't worry, though, once you find that wallet upgrade, maybe you can afford to buy a tunic. Or at least a cardboard sword wrapped in tinfoil.