If you've ever been to San Francisco you've seen the dog in this picture.  He sits on a bench with his painted toenails (claws?), wearing sunglasses and holding a cup inviting passers-by to deposit money.  This dog is extremely well trained; he doesn't move for hours at a time while his itinerant bum owner sits on the sidewalk nearby munching handfuls of french fries from a ubiquitous McDonald's bag. 

Wait, you've never been to San Francisco? You've still seen this dog?  I know there's a carbon copy of him in Seattle and I'm sure other cities as well.  Everyone knows a pathetic looking dog is a surefire sympathy magnet for any professional bum -- nobody wants the dog to starve. But a cute, novel, well-trained dog gets rewarded doubly for the "trick" it performs (even if that trick is imitating a statue).

I'm thinking the professional bums of the world would pay good money to franchise a highly-trained BumDog™, so I'm gonna start training and selling them.  I figure I can adopt any old stray from the pound, pour a few weeks of training into the mutt and then resell the dog (complete with bandana, novelty glasses and "recycled" fast food drink cup) for a few hundred dollars in dimes and quarters.  This is a solid investment, people.  An authentic BumDog™ is virtually guaranteed to double, no, TRIPLE your net begging income!  The dog will pay for itself in no time!

Just think about it, instead of pandering to passers-by and dealing with a near constant stream of rejection, you can sit back, enjoying your 40oz. while your brand new BumDog™ does all the work, wordlessly plying the denizens of your fair hamlet for their valuable change!  All your BumDog™ requires (apart from three easy payments of $89.95) is a few cents worth of kibble and water daily.

So don't wait, order today! Be the first in your turf to feature a genuine BumDog™ and reap the reward! Supplies are limited and going fast. Limit one BumDog™ per Hobo. Tax, shipping and handling may apply. 

♫ If you're sick of bein' broke / Don't just get drunk / Get a BumDog™ / And get outta that funk ♫

BumDog is a registered trademark of BumCo Industries. BumCo Industries is not responsible for any damages resulting from use or posession of BumDog.  Do not taunt BumDog. Do not feed other Hobos to BumDog. BumDog should not be used around small children or without adequate ventilation. Dispose of used or expired BumDog properly in accordance with local and/or state ordinance.