Okay. I get it.

American Idol has raised 30 million for kids all over the world. I do understand this to be the actual bottom line. Some people are going to be helped.

Uh huh.

I watched the coverage of Simon and Ryan going to Africa, shaking their heads at the horrors they saw there. But one sequence in particular bugged me: Simon - sitting in some remote African hovel in stunned silence - and then (not once but TWICE) walking off camera like he simply can't stand it one second longer, muttering about how awful everything was. A deeply cynical part of me wondered if he'd gotten the proper tone on the first take, or whether they had to shoot it again several times.

Uh huh.

SO - American Idol gives BACK. And thirty million is a pretty hefty chunk of change...

...but....I had this creepy notion of some softly grinding manipulation machine plodding along in the background.  And I didn't have the sense that this particular machine gave a shit about dying children, destitute mothers, or lives crushed by poverty.

Celebrities trotted out their compassionate faces, lip synching, singing, dancing, being goofy - all in the cause of charity.

Charity.

I almost hesitate to make the following point - because the bottom line IS the bottom line. 30 million good bottom lines.

...but...did one celebrity actually GIVE sacrificially? Did one of them actually care enough to donate a HUGE amount of money - something that would actually inconvenience them? I ask the question in all honesty. I have no idea if they contributed any of their millions, if American Idol donated its advertising revenue - if Simon actually took time to help one of those way too skinny children...or if he just chucked them on the chin on his way back to the hotel.

I heard a lot of rich and famous people banding together to get the mass of "little people" watching mobilized to send in their spare cash while the hype machine grinds on and on on.

The whole thing made me think of a recording I heard once of Paul Anka singing "Smells Like Teen Spirit." And that metaphor will either make sense to you...or it won't.