You may or may not have seen the Kay Jewelers ad on which I am about to rant. If not, avoid it, as you will still have an innocent belief in the sanctity of rock.

The commercial in question is aired on several networks, as a Mother's Day seller. This is a mixed blessing as it means we won't have to see it past Sunday. In the meantime, it will be shoved down our throats approximately 39,305 times on every network that shows it.

In it, a fortysomething, geekish looking dad takes his wife out to the garage for a special Mother's Day surprise. Of course, it's got to be a car. I mean, in any commercial, it has to be a car. It's in the driveway! What else are you gonna hide in the driveway? A pile of fertility pills? Chippendales?

Turns out, hubby got the kids to form a garage band to sing a special song just for mom (never mind that the kid in back playing the bass is not even the size of one). Under normal circumstances, a woman would either be violently angry ("Where is my car, you cheap bastard?!") or dismayed ("What are my children doing playing this devil music?!"). Either way, the usual Father's Day sex he so looks forward to is in danger without some major sucking up.

No. She loves it. And then to remind you that we live in corporate America, little lead singer girl goes over to mom (whilst she's still "singing") and gives her a jewelry box. All are happy and total tools.

There are two groups of people watching this ad: people like my mother (and possibly my girlfriend) who find it cute. They know no rock and roll. Others watch it in horror. Something about this (most likely the fact that these kids have most likely been forced into playing the most insipid piece of garbage ever) just isn't kosher.

If you can't guess, I fall into that second group.