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Rebekah Robinson

I Eat Ramen Because I Am Lonely

Published on 10/6/07 in Food & Drink
There is nothing like a hot noodle.

Here I am on a Saturday night. Sitting on my bed watching television and waiting for my Top Ramen to boil. Ramen is the anti-food food. It is the food you eat when it seems like there is nothing to eat you house. It is the food that you boil on your stove and consume when you don't really want to cook or eat food but feel like you have nothing better to do. Or you are stoned and it sounds really good to you.

It is quite possible that ramen is the most popular item the Japanese have ever sent us, besides cars and anime. The process is so simple. Boil water, add noodle square and seasoning, give it 3 minutes and eat. Once when I was in college I actually made ramen in my electric tea kettle because I was too lazy to walk down the hall to the kitchen. It worked just fine! Not only is ramen a tasty snack but it is almost impossible to screw it up. It wasn't until later in my life I realized people could actually add things to ramen, like vegetables or beef (you know, like actual Japanese food) and make an evening out of it. What's more romantic than ramen? I mean, really, there are 15 flavors. That could keep you busy for a while. 

There is an official ramen homepage http://www.mattfischer.com/ramen/ where the man in charge posted the latest news about the introduction of canned ramen. It's like Campbell's but it's ramen. One of the fans of the homepage had this to say: " O.O Oh my god...That is so fraking AWESOME.I demand that Japan makes us some." I concur. Fraking awesome.

Ramen is one of the limited grocery items you can buy at almost any gas station, and in the actual grocery store it is most commonly sold 10 squares for 1 dollar. Ramen is so important and delicious to our culture (and when I say "our culture" I mean kids who didn't have enough money to eat in college so we live off of top ramen and Kraft Mac & Cheese; the things we couldn't get our moms' to buy when we were little) that there is an indie label called Fueled By Ramen Records. This proves my point that ramen is a super food and should be places right up there with the avocado. Rock stars eat ramen. That's all you have to say.

Nissin says on their homepage, "The noodle isn't just a meal. It's a steaming hot celebration of texture and flavor." I really agree. There is nothing like a hot noodle.

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5 Comments

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This reminds me of something I wrote in the third grade, except it was a report about pandas. Written on 12/6/07
You mean the author went to College and still writes like this? Christ, the education system genuinely is in trouble.

"It is the food you eat when it seems like there is nothing to eat you house"

...is the Engrish an attempt to a bit of authentic Japanese bad translation, you know, for texture...? Written on 22/6/07
I'm not really sure, DC...why don't you revisit that clusterfuck of a final sentence in your own post before pissing on the author's failings? Written on 24/6/07
Now why so upset, EQ? What 'clusterfuck'? Overstating the case, aren't you? Other than the typo where I forgot the word 'add', it seems alright to me - and considerably less dull and aimless than the article it follows. You never made a typo before? But let's revisit the offending item as you don't propose any improvement or workable alternative.

Specifically: the mocking use of the quote "there is nothing to eat you house". Now this reads like something you'd find on Engrish.com, where a perfectly intelligible Japanese sentence has been rendered incoherent through the wonders of unreliable translation.

Thus the question asks whether this is an attempt to mimic the kind of mangled verbiage you might find on a packet of imported Japanese foodstuffs, in order to impart an ironic subtext to an article about Ramen noodles. As the author has mentioned that they are at/have attended college, implying a certain high standard of education that might be expected to preclude elementary written errors, this is not impossible. However, the tone and content of the rest of the piece, as RedSnapper succinctly points out, has the feel of a 3rd grade report, and furthermore has no relevance to the title. Compare this to material on this site by Rebecca Kelley or Jane Copland, which actually feel like they were written by grown-ups with a feel for, and love of, language, and a definite 'take' on the subject they are addressing. If I want to read a stultifying ramble I'll go trawl the comments on YouTube.

And as for "pissing on the author's failings" (I'd have to drink about three gallons of water to adequately cover them all), why do you think they put this comment feature here in the first place? Stuff that's funny, clever, insightful etc. gets plaudits. This item is none of those, so expect the brickbats. Come to think of it, the fact that it's only attracted 2 comments in as many weeks (apart from your ill-tempered outburst) tells you all you need to know - it's not even interesting enough to attract abuse.... Written on 25/6/07
Ladies, ladies, ladies.

What the hell gives you the right to think that insulting each other back and forth will produce anything productive. Always remeber, making fun of people online is like competing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, your still retarded.
Written on 12/11/07

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