It's widely known that prostitution is the world's oldest profession, but what about the world's second oldest profession? Pimping, or the politically correct Independent Unilateral Carnal Contractors (IUCC).

‘Pimping' and ‘hooking' professions are not for the meek and easily require more than the average person would be willing to take on as a profession. When "Ice-T" wrote ‘Pimpin' Ain't Easy', he may have been fully aware of the challenges involved with being a pimp. Sure, the fancy cars and the over abundance of women at your beck and call seem nice, but this profession would test the true mettle of any man.

Let's look at some facts and educational traits:

HUMAN RESOURCES AND PUBLIC RELATIONS

Through history, pimps have been depicted with at least two staff members on call at any moment in time. When a pimp is assumed to be alone, a simple snap of the fingers or a word will cause two staff members to appear in even the most remote locale. This small fact lends proof positive that a pimp has his staff trained to be on hand and ready to move in force at a moment's notice. For many of us this seemingly small feat is a logistics nightmare, as most of us can barely get a family of three in the mini-van for a trip to Wal-Mart, let alone pack up and move at a moment's notice. Furthermore, most of us only half notice a red light, whereas a pimp and their staff are fully aware and always alert for both red AND blue lights.

Pimps work hard to make sure that their entire staff working hard and is equipped with the knowledge and tools to hold conversation at any length about whatever comes up. After all, their clients pay for companionship, and they'll get fast and friendly service no matter how long it takes.

ACCOUNTING AND MICRO-ECONOMICS

In the corporate world, time is money. In a pimp's world, he or she is the only person with a corporate seat. This means every corporate department must be run by the pimp. Training their staff requires countless hours of testing and physical training, and while it may not cost the pimp any money, the staff member isn't actively doing their job so the pimp isn't making money, either.

MARKETING AND ADVERTISING

The corporate world has what is called ‘power colors'. These are colors worn by corporate workers to show strength in presence through appearance. In short, it's a way to visually sell themselves. A couple of years ago it was blue. Before that it was grey. Today it's orange, pink, and green. Tomorrow it might be blue again. Pimps have a style all their own. They have physically broken the ‘power color barrier'. We see this in their eclectic form of attire and the attire of their staff. A pimp works hard at looking like the NBC peacock and spends hours upon hours telling others how to make their clothes.

It takes a near unfathomable disregard for color theory and a degree of blindness to create such an amalgamation of fashion faux pas and a tremendous amount of bravery to not only step foot in public wearing these travesties, but to be proud of them as well. Nothing says ‘PIMP' quite like a sharkskin suit with fuchsia sequins fashioned to spell out a name in Old English typeset, a chinchilla coat with mink trim, a green crushed velvet fedora with a pink dyed peacock feather, mandarin orange and indigo paisley wingtips, and a cane with a snow globe full of real shredded $1000 dollar bills on top. A good advertising executive will tell you that the power of an ad is saying everything without saying anything at all, or the power of suggestion.

To counter the ridiculousness of a pimp's personal attire, their staff is outfitted with a lack of attire that speaks volumes. Never will you find so little say so much. Six inch stiletto heels, while small compared to the wearer, find ways to silently suggest how best to spend twenty dollars far beyond the two words commonly associated with said pair of shoes.

STATISTICS AND PROBABILITY

The corporate world shares one other common trait with pimps: numbers. We see bank tellers, garbage men, and mailmen every day. These aren't hard jobs to do (but people work hard at them), and so they become a common job. Neurosurgeons, nuclear engineers, and astronauts are not common jobs, hard to do, and therefore few people choose this as a career path. If pimping were an easy task, we'd have more pimps in the world, but since there are only a small handful of true pimps I've reason to reaffirm that indeed, pimpin' ain't easy.

As a tribute to these hard working men and women, I propose that a day be set aside specifically for Pimp Awareness. Start getting the ball in motion, exercise your pimp hand and call or write your congress person today to make the suggestion.