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Blake

Mississippi: 51st in everything

by Blake []
Published on 9/7/07 in Culture
Ranking 51st is fitting for the only third-world state in the union.

Yesterday, my wife and I spent three hours driving through Mississippi en route to Texas and realized we couldn't tell which housing FEMA provided and which trailers were purchased with bad personal credit.

Yes, Mississippi sucks. Merely looking at a map of the U.S. makes it hard to gauge just how crappy this state really is -- one needs to dig deeper, beyond lackluster test scores and the single largest collection of interstate potholes that would put any former Soviet backwater to shame.

Once inside its state line, one needs less than a minute to understand why Mississippi will never rank higher than 51st in anything that matters. How can Mississippi rank lower than 50th in any intellectually honest poll? Simple. As an unincorporated territory of the United States, even Puerto Rico has to be better than Mississippi in any category that ranks states from best to worst.

Sure, Mississippi might have the most historians still writing that the Civil War was an internal squabble over economics (a number 1 ranking for sure). But having the most C-student historians in any subject isn't cause to call in sick and head to the closest pond with a pound of live bait for some celebratory fishing. Counting the number of confederate flag stickers claiming "heritage over racism" was a fun exercise until we lost count.

As we sped through the state in a rented Pontiac Vibe (real Detroit muscle), the biggest shock came when we stumbled upon an NPR affiliate while aimlessly searching the radio for anything other than country music and songs about freedom costing more than $1.09. We were overjoyed to hear some intelligent programming and wondered aloud how Mississippi Public Broadcasting found enough in-state members to fund the station. We were genuinely stumped.

Then we lost the signal and realized it must've been a fluke. We were probably picking up NPR thanks to all the aluminum litter dotting the interstate.  

So we settled on a country station and catalogued the varying homespun clichés country music relies on. We found only five variations on a theme, all of which seemed to resonate with every family of five stuffed into the single cab pickup trucks passing us, which are: finding your faith after a life changing event, getting your first truck, losing your virginity on a dirt road, imbibing delicious light beer that makes you do things you later regret, and rabid patriotism without need for questioning anything but your gut feeling. Each song sung over the same slide guitar with the kind of twang that is as exaggerated as a Matthew Lesko infomercial hawking government grant money.
 
However, the country music proved to score the rest of our trip quite well. We found each successive town to be a better backdrop than the previous for the next Mad Max movie. Thanks to all the rust, economic desperation, obvious class/race oppression, and other familiar thematic elements, Mississippi should have a corner on any future dystopian movie that Hollywood produces.

It wasn't all bad and we even managed to find a few positives. Mississippi provides cut-rate muffler and radiator service. And if you need to buy or sell used tires, this is the state for you.

That's about it, though. Ranking 51st is fitting for the only third-world state in the union. As we crossed over the Mississippi river into Louisiana, we wondered where it would fall in the scheme of state rankings. We quickly agreed it was at least 50th.

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NPR affiliate ... We were overjoyed to hear some intelligent programming

It's tough being the smartest person in the world, isn't it? Don't you just wish everyone realized how brilliant you are as often as you do? Written on 9/7/07
It is hard to argue that NPR is not more intelligent than country music. Written on 10/7/07
She thanks mah tracterr's sexay... Written on 11/7/07
This has got to be the stupidest, whitewashed, elitest crap I've ever read. And contrary to the intellectual snobbery exhibited on this post I feel dumber for reading it. Written on 9/7/07
So both of you hicks must be from Mississippi. Thank God that these aren't audio posts because I'm sure that we wouldn't be able to understand a single redneck word that came out of your scatter-toothed mouths. Written on 10/7/07
Your avatar is very fitting.

Anyway, it's funny that you libs preach how stereotypes are a BAD THING when it's against the muslim terrorists or alcoholic homeless people, but when it's against a group that's largely conservative, you march right forth with your stereotypical ignorance. Really, I shouldn't have expected any more from you leftist pukes. It'd be more humorous if it wasn't so sad that pathetic pukehards like you get a vote. Written on 10/7/07
I think the redneck stereotype has legs of its own:

http://summerredneckgames.com/photos/

Southern nimrods don’t need any help when it comes to crafting their own PR campaign.
Written on 10/7/07
Wow Bodero. You usually try so hard to convince everyone of your intelligence and the cogency of your political arguments. I doubt you'll ever be able to claim any sense of egalitarian, logical or merit-based political sensibility after that little tirade:

"I shouldn't have expected any more from you leftist pukes. It'd be more humorous if it wasn't so sad that pathetic pukehards like you get a vote."

You are the worst kind of hypocrite. A hateful, two-faced and bigoted elitist who backs up your twisted world view with jingoistic ideology and rhetoric rather than humanistic thought or progressive solutions.

If you comment back, don't expect a reply, I'm done with you. You don't back up your own claims and fail to respond to those of others with anything but vitriol and hate-speech. There's no humor or irony in your reading or contribution to this site...you literally go out of your way to demean people and deliberately misinterpret the material herein to facilitate your own blowhard beatification of an indefensible set of talking points and slurs.

I'm not going to ban you from the site because I believe in free speech, but I will exercise my own by saying I do not appreciate your humorless and insulting presence here and I wish you'd go away. Written on 10/7/07
You usually try so hard to convince everyone of your intelligence and the cogency of your political arguments. I doubt you'll ever be able to claim any sense of egalitarian, logical or merit-based political sensibility after that little tirade

I do when I am to expect a logical discourse in return. An egotistical junk article like this does not merit one, merely a clear spelling out of how hypocritical you libs are.

You are the worst kind of hypocrite.

Funny, considering what I pointed out in my previous post.

A hateful, two-faced and bigoted elitist who backs up your twisted world view with jingoistic ideology and rhetoric rather than "humanistic thought" or "progressive solutions".

I was going to comment on the irony of you posting that on this thread, an epitome of acceptable hate-speech for you libs, but I'll instead focus on your 'feel-good' prases that I emboldened. What exactly is an 'humanistic thought' or a 'progressive solution?' Sounds like something Ted Kennedy would propose that would involve a huge tax increase, big government, and the lack of personal responsibility - a lib trifecta!

You don't back up your own claims and fail to respond to those of others with anything but vitriol and hate-speech. There's no humor or irony in your reading or contribution to this site...you literally go out of your way to demean people and deliberately misinterpret the material herein to facilitate your own blowhard beatification of an indefensible set of talking points and slurs.

First of all, I take big offense in people who are actively undermining my country. But I always reply with civility when there is a poster that merits it. Mr. Spicer, while completely wrong in everything he believes, is usually up for a civil debate. You apparently would rather kick and scream about how I am being hateful to a cowardly elitist puke who thinks he is better than an entire state of people.

I'm not going to ban you from the site because I believe in free speech, but I will exercise my own by saying I do not appreciate your humorless and insulting presence here and I wish you'd go away.

And I'm just going to remind you to vote on Wednesdays. Written on 10/7/07
Actively undermining YOUR country? I didn't know we lived in the United States of Bodero. That sounds craptastic. Written on 10/7/07
I abide the Constitution. What say you? Written on 10/7/07
I say you're a ball licker. Written on 11/7/07
Bodero,

In what way does this post make me a cowardly elitist puke? Just because I have distaste for a genre of music doesn’t mean I hate America. I know plenty of conservatives who think country music blows. And that racism is bad. I'm certainly not an elitist puke because I think people driving around with racist emblems are in denial over the success of the Civil Rights Movement, right? What about my caricature of Mississippi makes me a cowardly elitist puke? Oh, right, I mentioned NPR.

What makes you think this is a site exclusively for liberals? It is a humor website. People don’t come here for the politics, except you.
Written on 11/7/07
In what way does this post make me a cowardly elitist puke? Just because I have distaste for a genre of music doesn’t mean I hate America.

I like how you wanted to direct readers to think I was criticizing your music tastes. I could care less if you like country or not; I wasn't commenting on it (in fact, I wasn't commenting to you period). But if you want to pretend I was, here's how it could apply to you:

I’m proudly bigoted towards racists who drive around singing and talking about patriotism and yet praise a confederacy – contradiction is high comedy. Ignorance isn’t an incurable disease.

Clearly you weren't talking about country music, but an entire swath of people for which they have pride in a less federalist United States. You can try to draw any amount of racism into it to make yourself look better and simultaneously ignore the real reasons people cling to the confederate flag.

I'm certainly not an elitist puke because I think people driving around with racist emblems are in denial over the success of the Civil Rights Movement, right?

Again, assuming the Confederacy was about racism. While it is true that Confederate Vice-President Alexander Stephens claimed that was his rationale, the Confederate President Jefferson Davis claimed the opposite - states' rights. A principle still held by many (but by no means all) conservatives today. That you want to tie all people into the former, rather than the latter, represents ignorance on your part.

What makes you think this is a site exclusively for liberals?

I have been told before that this site is for a bunch of Seattle libs by the site owners. I don't mind, I'm just trying to inject common sense, balance, and a sense of Pro-America into this site.

It is a humor website. People don’t come here for the politics, except you.

You must be new here. Almost all of the articles have some sort of Jihad against capitalism, sometimes more subliminal than others. If you really want to read a Soviet-style dissertation on the one-sided benefits of Communism, read jtspicer's articles. Written on 11/7/07
Bodero,

I’m not assuming the Confederacy was about racism. I’m telling you that it was about racism – and the right to own another person. You gloss over the primary issue (the legality of slave ownership in the U.S.) and say it was a cut and dry case of state’s rights versus the federal government. What was at issue was the states wanting to own and sell slaves, and the rest of the nation telling them that that practice would no longer be acceptable. That was the issue.

You’re a simpleton, so let’s break it down. If one group of people (the confederate south) thinks they are better than another group of people (the slaves), and think they should be able to own them, how is that not a clear cut case of racism? When the Federal government said, “Hey, no more owning people for your economic gain,” the southern racist slave owners said, “Forget you, we’ll form a confederacy!” Sure, the federal government was making the decision to abolish slavery for them, but it was the right decision. How do you miss this point?

And there is nothing anti-American about this site. If your mission is to be the flag-bearer of common sense, you’ve failed with every comment you’ve posted. I’ve read this site for a while (and posted a few articles) and none of the articles have “some sort of jihad against capitalism.” Bodero, simply put, you’re a dipshit.

By the way, people cling to the confederate flag because they are ignorant, ignoble assholes.
Written on 11/7/07
You gloss over the primary issue (the legality of slave ownership in the U.S.) and say it was a cut and dry case of state’s rights versus the federal government. What was at issue was the states wanting to own and sell slaves, and the rest of the nation telling them that that practice would no longer be acceptable.

So how is this issue any different than the libs in the federal government now telling every state that you have no choice but to allow the killing of innocent unborn children? You say in retrospect that slavery is a cut and dry issue of morality - and I agree. However, I feel one day we will look back and wonder how we, as a society, allowed abortion, much in the same light as we look at slavery. However, it was about states' rights. States would recognize that slavery was wrong, nothing short of a Constitutional amendment (which was indeed passed) should have told states what they can and cannot do. Too bad no one follows the Constitution anymore (see Roe v. Wade).

But, continue framing this as a slavery issue so that you can dismiss anyone who disagrees with you. Face it, all politics is local - which is why Federalism was the best form of Government for the United States. Unfortunately, the Constitution is framed as a "living, breathing document," which it is NOT, and this is why it is disregarded by you libs (and a lot of Repugs) today. Every time Congress meets, you lose a bit of your liberties. It should have never been this way.

And Jane, I could care less. Written on 11/7/07
Fuckwit...Roe v. Wade may have been judicial activism trampling on legislation, and may have been poorly decided. That's open to interpretation. However, folks who also try to tear it down as a state's rights issue are just 'arguing the alternative,' as they say. Don't try to make every judgement at odds with your worldview about federalism, 'cause it cheapens the validity of federalism itself. Christ, that's like Debate 101. Written on 11/7/07
However, folks who also try to tear it down as a state's rights issue are just 'arguing the alternative,' as they say.

Why? Quite frankly, it's the lesser of two evils. At least I'm not forced to allow killing babies in my state. That Vermont would actively be a baby-killer state would be their choice - a despicable choice, but something that they only force on their own people. As opposed to now. Written on 11/7/07
"At least I'm not forced to allow killing babies in my state."

I have this mental picture of some lesbian towering over Bodero, forcing him to perform abortions.

Written on 11/7/07
Do you mean a large hairy lesbian with irregular teeth and mustache dressed in leather chaps and a thong???? Hairy ass crack and all?? Huh do ya??

Crikey, I think I'm getting a stiffy!!

George, GEORGE! Yes I'm talking to you. Take off those ridiculous clothes George! Written on 14/7/07
YOU KNEEJERK IDJIT. I wasn't commenting on abortion as a social issue...I was commenting on your assertion that Roe v. Wade is an affront based on infringment of state's rights, when the main LEGAL (not moral!) failing of the judgement is that it's based on faulty reasoning. Do try to keep up. Written on 11/7/07
That's a shame. Correct usage always makes arguments so much more compelling.

Anyhow. Yay abortion! Kill the little fuckers! Written on 11/7/07
IT'S COULDN'T CARE LESS. Written on 11/7/07
And I'm just going to remind you to vote on Wednesdays.
Your folks do love to do that...especially to folks with all that pesky melanin, eh?

I abide the Constitution. What say you?
Kinda at loggerheads with that above statement, dontcha think? Written on 11/7/07
Don't be an idiot. It clearly states in the Constitution that you can attempt to disenfranchise people who won't vote in the same way that you will. Jeeze, way to be retarded. Written on 11/7/07
"Mr. Spicer, while completely wrong in everything he believes, is usually up for a civil debate."

There is a difference between "wrong" and "at odds with your point of view." Written on 11/7/07
Agreed 100%. Until he actively undermines everything this country is founded on, such as capitalism and our fabric of laws (in regards to his immigration diatribe). Then he's wrong. Written on 11/7/07
Thank you, Aleksandra. Jeez, how did I get drawn into this one? Written on 12/7/07
I’m proudly bigoted towards racists who drive around singing and talking about patriotism and yet praise a confederacy – contradiction is high comedy. Ignorance isn’t an incurable disease.
Written on 10/7/07
Bodero is a licker of balls. Written on 10/7/07
You are the worst kind of hypocrite. A hateful, two-faced and bigoted elitist who backs up your twisted world view with jingoistic ideology and rhetoric rather than humanistic thought or progressive solutions. Written on 10/7/07
And you are a licker of balls! Written on 10/7/07
Bodero you are my hero.

Please lick my balls Written on 10/7/07
so is this Bodero character around alot? he seems to have some serious free time on his hands to be writing these novels as posts. i think that i broke a sweat reading a couple of them.

oh....and Bodero.....please lick my balls too. Written on 11/7/07
I have direct experience with denizens of the deep south-I consider Mississippi part of the deep south-as my mother's relatives hail from there. Quite a few of these people have advanced degrees yet the education has in no way diminished their bigotry. They were so easy to play at family gatherings-from the age of eleven on, if I became bored I would announce my intention to marry an African-American gentleman. Oh, the screams!!! Written on 11/7/07
An young, educated friend of mine from South Africa recently told me that her mother "would be ever so shocked if she knew I'd kissed a colored boy."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Written on 11/7/07
Freedom costs a buck-oh-five, we all know this. 'Cause freedom isn't free, it costs folks like you and me, and if you don't put in your buck-oh-five who will? Written on 11/7/07
My dog came from Mississippi and he is awesome. But he lives in Seattle now, so he's undoubtedly at home right now listening to NPR and undermining America.

But it's so cute when he barks with that accent, I tell ya. Written on 11/7/07
First off, I'm amazed at folks that write a paean to the Constitution (a purposely vague document, in many respcets) to support their views, then proclaim the DoI to be the highest law of the land when it comes to supporting their theocratic-lite views. So yeah, I'm pretty lib...but honestly, there's nothing regressive or jingoistic 'bout saying the Civil War had fuck all to do with slavery at its inception...Lincoln was famously wishy-washy regarding abolition, and state's rights did play a huge part, much larger than slavery. Let's be honest, folks. Written on 11/7/07
So... Bodero is saying that treating an entire race of people as property, is about the same as killing fetuses? That's an interesting comparison. I would like to respond to that by saying your remarks reek of Hitler-like fascism. And true to your style, I will refuse to provide supporting evidence to back up my claim, and insult your education, and mother if you try to dispute me. Written on 11/7/07
sportrider ftw! Written on 11/7/07
Bodero is saying that treating an entire race of people as property, is about the same as killing fetuses?

Entirely comparable. But you wouldn't understand since you won't ever accept the unborn as a human life. Probably because you have no kids. But you'll lie and say you do. Written on 11/7/07
No kids here. Dirty little fuckers. Suck 'em out like slurpies! Tasty tasty. Written on 11/7/07
mmmmmmmm slurpies. Written on 11/7/07
What about a slave who wanted an abortion? Would you say that the right to life is so strong that she should be compelled to have said child, regardless of the inexorable morass he or she will endure for their lifetime?

EDIT: By 'he or she' I meant the child, not the mother...it's become apparent that I need to clarify things for Young Goodman Bodero. Written on 11/7/07
Well, your mother used to drink, and drinking causes brain damage, so obviously, she passed on that mental retardation to you. As a result, your conclusions are wrong.

i won't accept unborn as human life? Define unborn. A lump of tissue doing nothing but metabolizing and dividing is as human as an amoeba. A 6 month old with a distinct head, nose, arms, and legs is human.

Get your nomenclature straight. Abortion affects fetuses. They are not babies, and the sure as hell ain't kids. They're fetuses. Written on 12/7/07
What about kitten life?

WHAT ABOUT KITTEN LIFE?! Written on 12/7/07
What about plant life?

DON'T FORGET THE FUCKIN PLANTS!!!

There is no such thing as pro-life. Life feeds on the life that came before it. In probably the greatest irony of existence (and proof that god has a sense of humor), we kill to live.

Plants need the sun to live. the hydrogen for the sun comes from the big bang. The mass for the big bang came from the preceeding big crunch, an event which would end any and all life in the universe at that point. Written on 12/7/07
You still did not address the pressing issue of kitten life. Instead, you tried to blind me with science.

FAIL. Written on 12/7/07
Kittens must fight for the right to live. They must win a cage match against Bodero to win! Written on 12/7/07
Plannd Kittay Parenthood: in ur catz, aborting ther kittahs. Written on 12/7/07
I forgot, you probably had to lick your first grade teacher's balls to pass. Written on 12/7/07
As usual, your liberal elitism shows through. Clearly you know more than I do, because you're a liberal. My opinion of when life begins matters not, because you have a different, more superior opinion.

Here's a fact: Neither me nor you know when life begins. Since we're both estimating to our best judgement, why not give the unborn child the benefit of the doubt and assume it is alive? The answer you will give is obvious in its root form: you choose convenience and choose to absolve personal responsibility. Written on 12/7/07
1. Im a moderate. Quit assuming shit u don't know.
2. I know when life starts. It starts when a cell goes "lets get this shit going" and divides into four (for reproductive cells. Other cells divide into two). hell, a parent cell dies when it divides into two daughter cells.
3. Abortion isnt about when life starts. It's about when the fetus is sentient. There are experiments we can do to determine this, but o wait. Shit-for-brains banned it.
4. I need to figure out where conservatives get the whole "O shit. Theres gonna be aborted fetuses flowing down the gutters." ideas came from. Just because abortion is legalized doesnt mean theres gonna be non-stop fuckathons in front of abortion clinics.
5. Absolve personal responsibility? You're one to talk. You know shit about me, and assume Id abort a pregnancy out of comfort.
6. Pro choice means you have a CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to abort, or not to. Its up to you. Not the government. You have the freedom of choice.
7. How fucking obnoxious do you have to be to think you can force your viewpoint on people whose lives you can't even begin to imagine. Written on 12/7/07
Yeah, pro-choice isn't about being pro-abortion. I'm pro-choice and I'm 99% sure I'd choose not to have an abortion under every circumstance. Despite my ridiculous rantings earlier. Which were jokes, btw. Just in case, you know? You have to make these things clear sometimes. Written on 12/7/07
1. Im a moderate. Quit assuming shit u don't know.

Everyone loves that word. They think it means "critical thinker." It usually just means too spineless to admit you're conservative (which I am) or liberal (which you are).

3. Abortion isnt about when life starts. It's about when the fetus is sentient. There are experiments we can do to determine this, but o wait. Shit-for-brains banned it.

Oh really? You've proven your reliance on the drive-by media. Bush didn't ban embryonic stem cell research, he outlawed federal funding of embryonic stem cell research. But I wouldn't expect the libs to get the facts right.

5. Absolve personal responsibility? You're one to talk.

I love how this answer flows right into this one...

6. Pro choice means you have a CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to abort, or not to. Its up to you.

Bingo! It's about a choice of whether or not you have to own up to your own actions of having unprotected sex. No, you shouldn't have a choice to kill a child (the child doesn't have a CHOICE). You have a CHOICE to have unprotected sex. Are there rare occasions of rape, incest or birth control failing? Yes. Does the child get a CHOICE to not die because of it? NO.

Not the government. You have the freedom of choice.

Precisely what I just said. Except you have the choice of your actions, not your consequences (in a humane society).

7. How fucking obnoxious do you have to be to think you can force your viewpoint on people

Not as obnoxious as you, who thinks they can force their viewpoint (DEATH) on the innocent unborn. They're not even the one committing the original action! Talk about obnoxious. Written on 12/7/07
Oh, Bodero. You can add as many Drivl comments as you like, and they're still be people having fetuses sucked out of their vaginas at Planned Parenthood tomorrow. You know what they say! What goes in must come out! Written on 12/7/07
It usually just means too spineless to admit you're conservative (which I am) or liberal (which you are).

You see me friend, some of us actually analyse a topic, and form a decision based on our views and beliefs. Not on prepackaged beliefs. Some of us don't like guns, but don't like big government either.

Oh really? You've proven your reliance on the drive-by media. Bush didn't ban embryonic stem cell research, he outlawed federal funding of embryonic stem cell research. But I wouldn't expect the libs to get the facts right.

The difference in the two being? Look if I shove a screwdriver up your nose, and you say "YOU FUCKER, MY NOSE IS BLEEDING 'COS OF YOU!!!!", i wouldn't stand around saying, "It's not my fault. I just shoved a screwdriver up your nose" You don't blame the effect for the causes.

Bingo! It's about a choice of whether or not you have to own up to your own actions of having unprotected sex. No, you shouldn't have a choice to kill a child (the child doesn't have a CHOICE). You have a CHOICE to have unprotected sex. Are there rare occasions of rape, incest or birth control failing? Yes. Does the child get a CHOICE to not die because of it? NO.

FETUS NOT CHILD FETUS GOD DAMMIT FETUS. Do you eat meat? Do you ask the animal if it would like to die before you kill it? Hell, animals are more sentient than fetuses.

Precisely what I just said. Except you have the choice of your actions, not your consequences (in a humane society).

Right... when was the last time we took responsibility for shit that went wrong? I can only think of WWII.

Not as obnoxious as you, who thinks they can force their viewpoint (DEATH) on the innocent unborn. They're not even the one committing the original action! Talk about obnoxious.

*sigh*
6. Pro choice means you have a CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to abort, or not to. Its up to you. Written on 12/7/07
"Oh really? You've proven your reliance on the drive-by media. Bush didn't ban embryonic stem cell research, he outlawed federal funding of embryonic stem cell research. But I wouldn't expect the libs to get the facts right."

Just so you can get the facts straight (since you don't seem to understand much about the workings of scientific research) but not much research gets done without federal funding because that is what universities rely on to conduct research. Without federal funding in a field as new and EXPENSIVE as embryonic stem cell research most universities cannot engage in research which leaves it to private organizations whose research is not always publicly available and typically has an entirely different end purpose (namely creating a marketable product in order to recoup the large initial investment into the research).

So in a one sentence summary if that is too much to read, stopping all federal funding of embryonic stem cell research effectively places it out of the scope of most public research institutions and greatly retards any progress in the field. Written on 12/7/07
Oh really? You've proven your reliance on the drive-by media. Bush didn't ban embryonic stem cell research, he outlawed federal funding of embryonic stem cell research. But I wouldn't expect the libs to get the facts right.

Oh please...the sort of life-threatening diseases that ESCR could help stamp out aren't of the sort that a PROFIT-DRIVEN pharma R&D dept will ever focus on. To them, there's no point in sinking billions into a one-shot cure, rather than vanity drugs, i.e. Viagra, and maintenance drugs, such as those for diabetes. So, in the end, there's barely any research going on in the U.S. with this unbelievably promising medical breakthrough. As it is, the cell lines provided by the gov't to use are both small in number (22!? WTF am I s'posed to do with that!?), and many are tainted with mouse DNA. They're basically useless. Never mind that more viable fetuses are destroyed every year in fertility clinics than could ever hope to be used in ESCR -- you just envision some demonic pact between abortion clinics and researchers, where there's some financial incentive for Planned Parenthood to promote abortions. Don't hold your breath for that ad campaign, bucko. And that red herring 'bout adult stem cells being a viable alternative? Keep dreamin' -- there's no omnipotent cells left in adults, as a cell still capable of differentiating into anything wouldn't be serving much of a purpose at that stage of life. Mother Nature, being the hippie she is, is still far more fiscally conservative than you wingnuts could ever hope to be, and the cells found in marrow have already passed the first stages of usefulness. So what was that 'bout having the facts right? Written on 13/7/07
Kittay life begins at cat buttsecks. Written on 12/7/07
you know it ^_^ Written on 12/7/07
hahahaha Written on 15/7/07
I'm soooo tired of this 'liberal elite' meme...dude, you folks claim to have a pipeline to God. It doesn't get more elitist than that. Written on 13/7/07
my favorite saying: If "elitist" means "not the dumbest motherfucker in the room" then I'll be an elitist. Written on 13/7/07
That about sums it up. Written on 13/7/07
Anyway, two can play the 'sympathy troll' game, bodero. Here goes:

I think abortion should be legal, in that it's simply a proactive means of asserting the supremacy (your people are fond of that word, I've heard) of the Ten Commandments. After all, noone asked that kid to be born...therefore, that blastula is not honoring the socio-religious compact between 'begatter' and 'begattee,' as laid down in 'Honor thy Mother and Father.' Since the unruly cell mass is 'acting out,' it falls to the parents to assert their prominence, thus preserving the family dynamic. At the heart of it, abortion is all about family values.

Amen. Don't hide the truth under a bushel, and all that. Written on 11/7/07
Man....I wish that I had something intelligent to say about abortion, Roe vs. Wade, or the boring ass liberal/conservative debate. BUT.....all I can think about is driving down to Mississippi and taking a huge shit on the entire state......then again.....would anyone even notice?

(isn't that what this entire article was about anyways?!?!?!?) Written on 13/7/07
Anytime Bodero gets involved he cherry-picks the articles and some how decides there is a “jihad” against capitalism or, through is sleuthy reading, amazes us all with his commentary on how anti-American Drivl seems to be.
Written on 13/7/07
Last week my wife and I were walking on the beach and had to avoid stepping on what looked like a used condom that had washed ashore. In hindsight, this memory makes me think of Bodero. Written on 13/7/07
I just have to comment...
Ok, so I live in France, a largely catholic country where abortion is legal. However across the broder in Spain it's basically illegal resutling in bothced abortions and clinics offering to abort a pregnancy as late as after 6 months. These, in return cause deaths of young women and emotinal scars that run deep, all of which could be avoided if abortion was legal and readily available to all those who need it. The same thing happens all over the US and everywhere in the world where abortion is illegal.

My girlfriend (yes, I'm a lesbian. Bodero, you probably think it's unnatural and all) works at a women's clinic where abortions are performed and they don't encourage women to abort, quite the opposite, abortion is treated as a last resort. But if a woman (or a girl) desides to have one, she gets the emotinal support she needs. Many have told my girlfriend that it was the best decision they could have made.

Pro-choice doesn't mean anti-life. Legal abortion saves lives, that is the lives of people who already exist, and not possible lives of fetuses.

Oh and Mississippi really does suck. And so does country. But that's just my opinion. Written on 14/7/07
Wall, I red most of yer loverly comments an I kint say thet many of ya'll seem to know which waay is up.

No where near as entertaining as youtubes Rednecks of the South video. In fact not funny at all except for one small tickle.

When you reduce yourselves to trying to justify your viewpoints on abortion with paragraphs of scientific data, you have lost your way on a short path.

I drove through the U.S. in 1992, from Maine to Montana, then to Arizona, and all the way back through the central states to Virginia and up to Pennsylvania and back to Maine. Then home to Nova Scotia. My impression were that it is a very diverse country and here is a short list of what I remember most.

Poor road planning in Chicago. Minnesota then nothing for miles and miles and miles....Nothing but open road and no cops. God I loved it and my 300Z breathed like it was alive. Friendly people in Montana. Very young Black girls standing along side the street in Phoenix showing their asses to the world. The affluence of Scottsdale. The beauty of the mountains as I left Phoenix. A sign as I entered Texas that said, "You are entering Texas, now you have seen it, you can leave". Chaos in Arkansas because of a little snow and hardly any snowplows. A 6 ft. 5 inch tall State Trooper in West Virginia who had to be the most polite Policeman I have ever encountered. THEN CAME PENNSYLVANIA, SHOULD BE CALLED TRANSYLVANIA...Ignorant cops, road kill littering the highway that was weeks old and rotting. Deer carcasses mostly. And it stunk.

Never saw Mississippi, but I did run into a guy from Georgia in a bar one night, and he was a real friendly fellow. I couldn't understand a damn thing he said, but he seemed content when I nodded and said is that so....

Of course I don't know which States ya'll call home, but some of the things I experienced in my travels indicated that perfection has eluded a number of them.

Largely you seem to need a damn good belly laugh, so go to youtube and look for the above video and I'm the only gay eskimo. www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIiUimThDck Damn funny. My 14 yr old Son finds these treasures for me. Speaking of Son's, I have 2 and a Daughter. My oldest Son was adopted when he was 3 wks old. If his 17 yr old high school student birth mother had exercised her right to choose abortion, there never would have been my fine and good looking young man. Never any of the memories of him as a little boy nor his 2 daughters.

Soooo, while examining pseudo intellectual dialogue, and ideology in the future maybe you can ponder someone sucking your grease spot out of your mamma befo you was born. You know, give it a homey feel eh?

Being educated and having a better than av vocabulary doesn't make you especially intelligent. Competing on line in a useless game of conceptual oneupmanship doesn't change anyones mind nor does it do any good.

For that idle time, may I suggest the first ever geekathon, with the premier event an exercise in self administered fellatio. Prerequisite course required. YOGA Written on 14/7/07
sir you are a natural peacekeeper mounty sir Written on 14/7/07
Thank you sir, all compliments are graciously accepted. Just a regular Myrtle of the Mounties, a Dudley Do Right for sure! LOL....

Did you ever hear the one about the Mountain Man?

Well then I'll tell ya

You see there was this fellow who decided to retreat to the mountains and get back to nature..
After a year or so, he was getting to miss human contact something fierce. Then one day he heard someone calling from outside; Hello.. Hello...Anyone in the Cabin??

So our Mountain man comes out and to his surprise, there big as life is another Mountain Man standing there, and big he was. A true Mountain of a Man.

So they spent the rest of the day talking, and laughing and having a good time telling stories and swapping lies. As it started to get dark the big man said, "Well, it's about time I got back to my own place", and he started out the door.

The other Mountain Man followed him out to bid farewell. As the big man was leaving he turned and said, I had a good time today, we should get together this weekend and have a party. What do you say friend?

The first guy says, "Sure, that sounds great". Ok, the big man says, we'll do some drinkin', some fightin' and some fuckin'. The first man says, Wow, that sounds good! Who will be coming?

The big man replies," Just you and me pal, just you and me!"




Written on 15/7/07
Wall, I red most of yer loverly comments an I kint say thet many of ya'll seem to know which waay is up.

maybe you can ponder someone sucking your grease spot out of your mamma befo you was born.


Speech affectations for the EPIC FAIL. That, combined with your boring, dystopian Kerouac impression, is infinitely more pretentious than proper spelling or scientific facts could ever aspire to be. Bad troll, bad!

Competing on line in a useless game of conceptual oneupmanship doesn't change anyones mind nor does it do any good.

Yet here you are...no one likes a meta-queen. Written on 15/7/07
An oxymoron for sure May I suggest you re-read your own posts over and over and over, as it appears you have already learned all that you are capable of.

Written on 15/7/07
Love the spurious, unsubstantiated claim. Get back to me when you've have something to back up your ad hominem.

Also, you threw oxymoron in their just to look witty. There's not a one in my entire post. Try again. Written on 15/7/07
Just to look witty you say. Hmmmm....

If you are upset because you can't participate in the geekathon, either because it's too small or that you don't have one, don't feel bad, it can be a spectator sport too!

That's witty.

Calling someone an educated imbecile is an oxymoron.

You are the oxymoron. Understand now?

Why don't you dazzle us with your humor and show that you are not one dimensional? Remember, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.



Written on 15/7/07
The whole point of an oxymoron is that it's a logical fallacy...therefore, labelling me with a moniker that contradicts itself is self-defeating.

So far you've employed put-on dialect, and proclaimed your own statements to be witty. To know that we've had Larry the Cable Guy in our midst this whole time!

Also, since you like to split hairs, if I can't participate in said geekathon due to a lack thereof, I don't really see how claiming it to be a spectator sport will ameliorate the problem, as there would be nothing to watch. At least try to be coherent in your sloppy comebacks. Written on 15/7/07
Coherent...Do you have the first clue what that means?

Obviously you are as I suspected, one dimensional. You couldn't even google up a decent joke in all that time.

Here's the agenda for the challenged. Once you have evolved past your 15 to 23 years, and your Ganghji smoking University think tank debate period, borrow a step ladder and climb to the highest rung. Then maybe what I say to you won't keep going so far over your head.

Apparently you watched Larry the Cable Guy. Did you like it??

You should consider it an exercise in studying the social development of your nation.

Come on back now, ya heer....

West bound and down, 18 wheels a'rollin' and we're gonna do what they say can't be done......

Message to Bodero if you are reading, you know it really isn't fair to play with these puppies. I'm almost ashamed. Almost. Written on 15/7/07
Obviously the LtCG joke flew over your head, bearcub. Also, you're trying way too hard. We prefer trolls who argue with facts, not with an endless litany of 'ur not funny.' Like I said, too meta by a country mile.

P.S. - Saying 'you couldn't google a decent joke in all that time' makes it seem like you're obsessivly perched in front of your monitor, furiously pressing F5 and waiting for the page to update. If you honestly think anyone else spends all their time between posts looking for the Drivl equivalent of 'yo mama' jokes, methinks an innerwebs sabbatical should be in your near future. Just a thought, friend. Written on 15/7/07
You have continuously reduced yourself to less than common. How could you ever aspire to be epic?

Trolls, I remember that term from the low end forums. Go back, way back, and listen carefully. You may learn. Better yet, you may acquire an inkling of what it is to be a man.

May I offer some constructive advice. Apply yourself to learning about the world around you, not merely catchy, meaningless contemporary banter and find a purpose for what intellect you do have.

There is a place for statisticians in this world. Perhaps your efforts would be better applied pursuing this career. But it is a limited vocation.

Maybe it's easier for a statistician to kill a baby. Dunno, never been one.

I even defend your right to exist. Imagine that. Written on 15/7/07
Wait, I think I'm starting to get it -- I'm too young, rely on dialectic (gasp!), and don't rely enough on cheap pops. Yeah, I'm real miffed.

Anyway, you managed to make that lumberjack joke look pedantic...I would have thought that impossible. Kudos, you'll fit right in...I'm told we all float down here. Written on 15/7/07
In between cooking supper and helping my Son to fix his dirt bike, I will point out that you have totally lost your way. You are a beaten punk, so unless you have something of value to add, I suggest you stop rambling,`as you are now embarrassing yourself before your peers.

Too much Ganghji dipshit! Written on 15/7/07
And we can float down the lazy river together... Written on 15/7/07
Yawn...whatev's, dude. You've become rather boring, what with the nuclear family tropes, the reliance on vulgarity (see: dipshit, Ganghji), and the constant, overcompensatory need to state your preeminence based on age. You first claimed to be mystified at folks who would argue points here, then proceeded to do exactly that, and betrayed the falsehood of your original statement by commenting how you recalled the word 'troll' from 'low-end' forums.' The only one here engagning in elitist backbiting is you, bucko. Your incessant, peurile need to assert your 'victory' isn't really the mark of a mature soul, either. I harbor no illusions that I'm ready to raise a child at this time; it would behoove you to consider what lessons you're imparting to your own seed, considering the behavior you've expressed herein. Written on 15/7/07
Did you get your Mum to come and take over for you? You did seem
to be in pretty bad shape.

Odd that you are so bored, yet you keep coming back, and repeating yourself.

I'm still waiting for your second dimension.

If you can't manage it, then shoosh!

Oh, and don't be a sore loser, old chap, it doesn't complement your ostentatious nature.






Written on 15/7/07
Odd that you are so bored, yet you keep coming back, and repeating yourself.

Irony overload. It's usually the case that the one proclaiming others redundant is the one most guilty of that infraction, i.e. repeating the one-dimensional line ad nauseaum, as well as declaring victory to the point of shrillness. Oh well, I'm taking BiPolar's advice and bowing out. Enjoy your kingdom, oceans12. Written on 16/7/07
How very droll of you, as expected.

As I usually don't bother with copy and paste, I haven't as yet pointed out your hypocrisies. Your use of profanities etc. in previous posts and condemnation of like terms is representative of your worthiness.

Perhaps you could consider yourself the Trout, and me the fisher with the fly.

Tis good sport don't you think old chap??? er, Bucko.. Written on 22/7/07
and it has been my experience that those such as yourself, will struggle to get it, and will go forward to be able to justify to yourselves the killing of innocents, without empathy for those you consider as, somehow, insignificant and unworthy of the right to life, and freedom which , I hold so dear, and in spite of the Constitution of your country which professes to defend these rights to the end.

A Man or Woman who who lives honest pursuits is every bit your equal, and mine. A better than average vocabulary does not make you or I, better than them, but should make us wonder if it is within our ability to make a difference in how our world unfolds. The acquisition of the newest whatever inch TV, doesn't cut it dick wipe. Use whatever ability God gave you to be a Good Man or a Good Woman and make a difference with the gift you were given.

Ya'll come back ya heer?

End of Sermon, please pass the collection plate now. Written on 22/7/07
Wow. Simply Wow. I'm honestly not sure what was more entertaining: the post or the comments.

I think we're all seriously forgetting something here, and that is that this site is a HUMOR (or humour, for the limey-inclined) site. Wow...too many uses of site back there. Anyhoo, yes, this is for humor. His opinion of Mississippi was stated for fun and enjoyment. I do not honestly think that Blake believes that the entire state of Mississippi is a waste. But in utilizing that in his writing, it sure does come out funny - and that's the point, remember?

I laughed, but it doesn't make me think that anyone who lives/hails/knows of the mediocre state of Mississippi is an unintelligent waste of skin and space on this earth. And if it did, then it looks like I've got bigger problems.

Let's turn to the comments. Bordello formed several cogent arguments, which many folks here with which many folks here don't agree. Fine! He has his right to believe his beliefs. Just as I have a right to mine. I can try and convince others, but it sure seemed like all those responding (again, hard to separate the humor-inclined from the serious) on both sides of the issue got a little hot under the collar.

The debate quickly went from ideas to attacks, and that's where I try and draw the line.

Now, if anything, I point myself more towards the 'liberal' camp, but as is becoming quickly obvious in today's political world, the two poles are not as, um...polar...as they once were. People are not buying into the rhetoric of either party and are finding themselves 'moderate'; their ideas are an amalgam of the two, which will ultimately be better for our country.

Which leads me to the final chapter in my book. Patriotism. No one here is unpatriotic. We're all espousing our opinions, which in and of itself IS patriotism.

America, fuck yeah. Written on 16/7/07
I am so pleased to have been able to amuse. It is one of my talents.

More to come.. Written on 22/7/07
One more thing, once the arrogant and disingenuous come to realize that privilege occasionally encompasses leadership, then you have a wonderful base with which to move forward in your development, and fulfill a truly (truely) worthwhile purpose. Written on 22/7/07
Humor, and the ability to laugh at yourself is a key to peace. (In your soul numb nuts) Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the committee of idiots, I fear no evil. For my dick and my heritage will lead me past the anger of any and all twerpy posts, and deliver me to the cold hard ground just the same as any and all arrogant toads. Written on 22/7/07
Another maxim from the low-end forums:

Arguing over the internet is like the special olympics.. Written on 17/7/07
Thank you Confucius. Wisdom dwells within the confines of introspective media. Written on 22/7/07
It appears to me that you sir are a student of Life, and I mean no disrespect albeit that my old mind is sharp and and my tongue by times, a razor. If I have offended you in any way, I apologize, and am sorry. Written on 22/7/07
After reading the post I've scrolled your comments...Hmmm... And as I've never been in Mississippi, I just tried to enter mississippi.gov official page to dig some truth. You know? It doesn't work!=)

signature: "I think sex toys are better than logic, but I can't prove it."
Written on 22/8/08
You are so right on! I have lived in several different states and MS was a shocker. My husband told me to keep an open mind when he sentenced me to torture by moving there. The first week I was there I was playing tennis with a group of "ladies" at the country club and one said "you have to send your kids to private school, the public schools are run by a big, fat smelly, N-----". One lady told me her daughter found out she was having a boy . I asked her which hospital she had her sonogram at and she said, "oh,no we went to an herbalist and she read the tea leaves". 90% of the graduates go to ole miss or ms state. then they graduate, and stay in MS. there is constant inbreeding of society and culture so they are never exposed to anything but MS culture. The MS state grads then stay in MS and teach the youth in the schools. The grads. go to ms colleges, go to med. school in ms and then do residency in ms. I personally know several docs that couldn't get board certified. one school of nursing had a greater than 50% fail rate and over 50% couldn't pass the nursing boards, can you now figure out what health care is like in mS???? In the town I was in a lot of the Valedictorians went to community colleges. If you like to eat in a healthy way forget it. lack of understanding of healthy food is rampant in restaurants. i told my husband that the stereotypes have shown to be true. we finally decided to leave for our childrens sake, the school they were getting ready to enter were ranked a 2 on a national ranking of 1-10, mention this to the locals and they are oblivious to it. they either don't want to know the facts and figures or ignorance is bliss.My son was accepted into the duke tip program because of his score on the state testing and .7% of his classmates scored the same that he did. less than 1%!!!!The locals act oblivious to these statistics!!!I am happy to say that we have moved, and I will never live there again.Oh yeah, my husband opened up an outpatient medical center and he was told that "they" weren't ready for something like that. (something that has been around in other states for decades) Written 2 weeks, 3 days ago

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