Members login Not a member yet? Sign up
Blake

The Lip Zit

by Blake []
Published on 11/7/07 in People
No amount of pinching it or trying to pop it will help.
Few things in life are as debilitating as a lip zit. I'm talking about the little geysers that bubble beneath the surface of your lip - the kind of zit that makes the life cycle of a normal blemish seem brief (because it owns your face over a period of 4-7 days).

Before the lip zit becomes visible to the waiting public, though, you feel it forming as if a fetal blemish in the womb - and there is no hope of aborting it. No amount of pinching it or trying to pop it will help - nay, it will only increase the pain, the pressure, and its ire towards your face, which makes the lip zit more visible, more powerful.

Nature takes over. The Psi's increase with nowhere to go. So you immediately set up your own neighborhood watch group, anticipating the emergence of a visible white head - your only hope for release. The white head - your messiah - is the fire exit for the gathering crowd of pus below the surface.

And there is no snake-oil on the market, no Oxy pad or Neutrogena scrub that will persuade the lip zit to dissipate with any amount of haste. The lip zit is a brooding loner, stroking the piano keys of pressure-induced pain in a devastatingly slow recital.

At the end of your struggle - when the lip zit looks like a clown nose awkwardly perched atop your lip - people will mistake it for a fever blister, which in turn devolves into nasty rumors about you having hepatitis.

Me, I'm writing from a current state of Zen understanding because I am on day three of what will prove to be a seven day lip zit cycle.

I have a minor headache from the pressure gathering below my lip. And I'm at the point where hope is thin in the absence of a forming white head. I don't know when I'll be able to pop this thing and I could struggle for another four days, neurotically inspecting my lip for signs of white life.

I can't purse my lips without wincing. And kissing my wife feels like a head on collision where upon impact my reddened abscess pulsates with pain. I plan on thumbing through a Farmer's Almanac over lunch in search of any kind of remedy; the likes of which I've claimed don't even exist.

If a white head is forming on my zit, it is inching slowly to the top  - walking deliberatly, slow and awkward, like Verbal Kint.

Tag & Vote

Technorati Technorati Tags:
drivl
Social Bookmark:
Submit to Del.icio.us Submit to Digg Submit to Reddit
Vote:
 4.5 (6 votes) Login to vote

Share, it's good for you


Copy and paste the code above to post this story on your MySpace or Blog.

25 Comments

Wanna comment? Signup!

JaneCopland

Jane
I heard that using contraception and hating Jesus gives you lip zits, Blake. Quit being such a lib. Written on 11/7/07

bgkimzey

Blake
My lip zit is registered with the communist party. I've nick-named it "Joseph McCarthy" until a white head forms. Written on 11/7/07

Rebecca

Rebecca Kelley
Lip zits are the absolute worst. They hurt when you squeeze them, and they always leave a huge red blotch that's like a neon sign advertising the fact that you squeezed the crap out of it in a frantic attempt to get rid of it. Written on 11/7/07

JaneCopland

Jane
HA HA. Written on 11/7/07

Twitchings

Twitchings
Oh Wow ...... pardon me while I laugh at all of you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lip Zit ........ thats the stupidest things i've ever read. NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH

!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE ORAL HERPES !!!!!!!!!!!

NEWS FLASHNEWS FLASHNEWS FLASH

If you can't tell the difference between a zit (an oily blockage) and a herpes sore (a viral infection), chances are you also have Crotch Herpes, crabs, syphillus and probably AIDS too. I would seriously get tested.

All of y'all need to pull your heads out of your asses and start informing yourself about your bodies and the reality of the real world. Ignorace is not an excuse when you ruin someone elses life.

You are infected with a virus, how many other people have you infected?
You are unclean and your ignorace scares me!

Written on 11/7/07

bgkimzey

Blake
Na, it's a zit. Written on 11/7/07

blitzhund

William Paris
NEWS FLASHNEWS FLASHNEWS FLASH

I believe if you take a sniff about you'll discover the only head in an arse is your own.

One can have zits on their lips and not have an STD.

Chances are...that you don't actually have herpes if you get the occasional zit on your lip.

I used to get them when I was early teenager and unless my hand had been going out at night and fucking the entire slagbag brigade it was only a zit.

They weren't viral, they weren't bacterial - they were just (brace yourself) zits.

A quick google with render your FLASHNEWS about as accurate as Pravda. Written on 11/7/07

JaneCopland

Jane
You're a fucking retard

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Written on 11/7/07

jtspicer

Justin Spicer
factcheckfactcheckfactcheck

i didn't have to go far in researching this fact check, because i just got over a nasty lip zit of my own. just in case you're not already hanging your shame, lip zits are both possible and heinous. Written on 11/7/07

mbunge

Michael Bunge
Its not a lip zit, its Herpes Simplex II, the non-sexual transmitted Herpes. I have had it my whole life, I get them when I eat oranges, something about the citric acid that sets it off in my system. I have had some whoppers..You should see my third grade picture it literally covers my entire lower lip. So fucking painful, they would burst open anytime you ate anything.

There is some good medicine out there now. I forget the name.

Written on 11/7/07

JaneCopland

Jane
Again,

Exhibit A
Exhibit B

Just because they're cold sores on you doesn't mean they're not zits on other people. Written on 11/7/07

mbunge

Michael Bunge
A picture says a 1000 words. Does that really look like a zit in the picture? Its a crater not a pin drop. That is a cold sore. Written on 18/7/07

JaneCopland

Jane
You think the picture's of his zit? It's from Google images, just so it's not pictureless.

FAIL. Written on 23/7/07

phuego

Adrian
If I may attempt to clear things up:

The medicine is Zovirax. White gold. Taking Lyzene (sp?) is also a really good natural preventative. (For cold sores; neither of these will help you with the lip zit)

If it is a coldsore, you get that almost needle sharp pain occasionally, and there is not really swelling. Theres never a white head, unless you're looking in a mirror and of Anglo-Saxon ish descent. There is no pus in a cold sore, just pain and disfigurement.

If it is a lip zit it just feels like a zit.

In my experience, not wiping your face after a drunken 3am burger fest causes lip zits.

@Twitchings:
Jane's assessment of your intellect mirrors my own (and Jane's a Marsden girl, so its really hard for me to admit that :) Written on 12/7/07

TinFoilHat

Jeff
not wiping your face after a drunken 3am burger fest causes lip zits.

Makes perfect sense.

Not that I have any experience in such things. Written on 12/7/07

JaneCopland

Jane
@Twitchings:
Jane's assessment of your intellect mirrors my own (and Jane's a Marsden girl, so its really hard for me to admit that :)


How the hell do you know that?

You know I left for Wellington Girls' as soon as I was old enough to tell my parents that Marsden was the likeliest candidate for the "Hell on Earth" award, right? Which was at age 12.

... who are you? :D Written on 12/7/07

bgkimzey

Blake
Not having Herpes is amazing. Written on 12/7/07

anneliese

anneliese raab
Stress often brings on these nasties in my case. Since I have a full mouth the awfullness is particularly visible. However, I generally have a couple of days before full cresting/crusting takes place and I catch up on any promised social contact before I have to retreat behind a veil. Written on 11/7/07

pjm

pjm
I've had a cold sore... but we called 'em Leper Lips....
Couldn't get a snog for love nor money.... Written on 12/7/07

Killer

Ty Henry
Let me confirm some of the above. There is a big difference between cold sores (Herpes Simplex, NOT Hepatitis) and comedones (pimples - which are bacterial in origin). The medications used to treat them are very different as well. If you try to "pop" a cold sore, you'll get nowhere and it'll hurt like hell (although I've never had one myself, I've seen plenty). But we don't need to bog down. Simple mistake. And still a funny and well-written article, with excellent use of the simile. Can't we all just be friends? Written on 12/7/07

demius

Alexis van der Merwe
I've just developed the next worst kind of zit. The just below your lip zit.

Touching it causes anguish comparable to being socked in the face with the business end of a cactus, while being turked by a syphilitic gorilla.

I'm hoping this ordeal comes to an end soon... Written on 12/7/07

maryo

Mary ONeill
I'm a nurse---it's viral. Zits only form in sweat
glands and hair follicles. Your lips have neither. Written on 13/7/07

mbunge

Michael Bunge
I can't believe, I woke up yesterday, and I had a cold sore. No kidding. Written on 17/7/07

Isis

Egads!
I think we can all agree that on this particular issue,
if you see someone with either a "lip zit", cold sore
or a whatever, it is best not to put YOUR lips anywhere
on them

reading this just brought back a memory of the scene
from Osmosis Jones...

ya'll know the one i'm talkin' about Written on 17/7/07

amanda

Mallory
You can't get a zit on the surface of your lip. Thats a cold sore which also CAN be present on other parts of the face. Its herpes simplex 1. They are probably not a result of being dirty, you catch them from close skin contact with a person who carries the virus... i have had them since i was a baby & caught them from my mother.

Dont try to pop it or it will spread. When you feel a cold sore coming (tingling, itching, burning)use a combination of 1000mgs (or more depending on your tolerance of side effects) of Valtrex twice a day for 3 days & then 500 mgs for 2 more days. Combine this treatment with a topical cream such as Denivir. Do not have any close contact with others & do not share anything that will go near your mouth. It is contagious & can be spread to other parts of the body as well. So wash your hands often & dont touch genitals. Simple precautions can prevent spreading the virus.

It is possible to have a zit or pimple (not herpes) just above your lip where hair follicles & sweat glads DO exist. But if you do also get herpes you should check with your doctor before making your own diagnosis as to whether its a zit or a cold sore. A Zit above the lip is stubborn but may be treated with an over the counter topical acne cream. You may also want a prescription such as Benzaclin Pump or ZoDerm if they are persistent.






Written on 3/8/07

Wanna comment? Signup!