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Él Tiburon

Fairytale Football

by Él Tiburon []
Published on 17/8/07 in Sports
No, I don't want to join your fake football club. Stop emailing me.
If one more person asks me to be in their fantasy football league, I'm going to punch them in the neck. I have enough anxiety about my real team winning. I don't need a fake one bumming me out too. In addition, I don't want to be the douche in the back of the room slapping my forearms together whenever some insignificant player does something that has no impact on the game being played and screaming, "Yes, he's on my fantasy team!!!" That guy deserves to be whipped with car antennas.

I don't understand the draw. The only thing I can understand is that you get to pretend to be an NFL team owner and pick the players you think will have the best season. So that means you're basically trying to be the best decision maker in the group, but how would that work when you all made the horrible decision to play fantasy football in the first place?

Fantasy baseball gets a pass because baseball is so fucking boring that I can see why people would create a game within the game to prevent slipping into a coma during the 7th inning stretch. But football?

I have enough time-wasting activities on my computer. I don't need to add trash-talking fake team owners and memorizing kicker stats. I'd rather spend that time complaining about it on Drivl.

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9 Comments

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gabrielle

Gabrielle
You may not understand the draw but I don't understan american football. Where's the foot? (I know where the foot is and how it relates to the game I just don't get why it's called football when the foot is not such a significant player.) Written on 17/8/07

JaneCopland

Jane
Gimme some RUBGY! Yeah! Written on 17/8/07

gabrielle

Gabrielle
My fellow non-american, thank you!
Written on 18/8/07

Wolfie

Gary Zhang
So you don't like it, go hang a sign that says that on your forehead.
Or wear it from a lanyard, but whatever, people are going to ask because they're your FRIEND and CARE about you and want to have fun WITH you. H'okay? Its not like random people are emailing you going, JOIN MY FANTASY TEAMeoujr029u43ruawpjrfsdpoj! Kay? Written on 17/8/07

tiburonbite

Él Tiburon
Easy there, Team Teddybearz. You'll get your league filled up before the draft. Don't get your footie pajamas in a bunch. Written on 17/8/07

covok48

Brad
Or better yet, they try to be the best decision maker in the group when:

A) They made a bad decision in deciding
what team to root for.

2) Made a worse decision to play fantasy football.

3) Made an even worse decision volunteering
to spend 100's of hours in the anguish
of sports-statistics book-keeping and stress
of knowing your real life team and fantasy team will have to wait "till next year" to turn things around... Written on 17/8/07

Sticky

Sticky
Agreed with Tiburon. Baseball is boring as hell.

I enjoy watching football, and I enjoy playing football video games (but not Madden. If I want to play with a pile of shit I'll visit my uncle's farm) but fantasy football is retarded. Written on 18/8/07

blitzhund

William Paris
I hate football (soccer) - the only time I follow it is during the World Cup when I cheer the American team on (because I want to finally see them give the filthy Italian the whipping they deserve).

I got pressured into joining a Fantasy Football league when I worked in Glasgow (dangerous ground I assure you - don't dare pick Celtic or Rangers players). I don't know a thing about any players or football so I picked my team based on the dirty Anagrams that I can make out of their name.

I picked my players, paid the £5 kitty and ignored my team. A few months later I collected the £75 that was in the pool.



Written on 20/8/07

fatback

Francis
I seriously see no need for Fantasy Football. A guy in my office sent around a mass email to the company asking us all to join. So I was like, what's the payout? He said nothing there's no money, it's for fun!

I said: blink...blink.blink.

So I have to spend time -online- doing something that is completely made up and has no real value AND there is no payout (or at least naked chicks)? Fuck that. If I can't drop in my adsense code or get a decent CPM then why would I doing it? Does that even make any sense? Unless it's free porn, because well, that shit's useful. Written on 20/8/07

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