To the Coked Out Assholes Who Stole My Stuff
I was just wondering how exactly you tainted my possessions with your crack rock-lighting hands... Read the rest...
Posted May 8th 2007, 18:08 in People
Drivl's Guide to Recognizing Bitches
Yes, of course we realize that not all women are evil, catty, and vicious. But you probably don't need a survivors' manual to handle the nice ones. Read the rest...
Posted Jan 4th 2007, 15:17 in People
Predictions for My New Year, Courtesy of My Nit-Picky Aunt Marlene
With all the fun 2007 has in store - from rheumatism to blood poisoning to spinsterhood, who needs resolutions? Read the rest...
Posted Dec 31st 2006, 22:02 in Holidays
Hey, Kate Bosworth! You're FAT!
Hooty McBoob addresses the newest member of America's obese population: fat-ass Hollywood startlet Kate Bosworth. Read the rest...
Posted Dec 31st 2006, 13:53 in People
20 Things Ex-Boyfriends Have Said to Me, Translated into What They Actually Meant
Guys, spare the euphemisms. It's time to stop tiptoeing around what you really want to say, because I am a master at translating Guyspeak into English. Read the rest...
Posted Dec 27th 2006, 13:32 in Dating
Five Christmas Movies That Ruined My Childhood
If you're like me, Christmas is that time of the year when you regress into a fearful, pants-pissing child due to having viewed several traumatized Christmas movies as an innocuous youth. Read the rest...
Posted Dec 15th 2006, 13:03 in Holidays
Objects or Entities that would make a worse companion for Tom Hanks in the movie, Castaway, than Wilson, the Volleyball
Yes, Tom Hanks was a perfect fit for the role, but the supporting actors had a tough time at auditions - heavy competition, particularly for inanimate characters. Read the rest...
Posted Nov 8th 2006, 13:19 in Movies
Party Themes More Likely to Get Your Frat Suspended than "Halloween in the Hood"
Those frat brothers in Maryland have nothing on our party themes. It's not really a fair competition, though; we're sober at least 10 hours a day compared to their 2. Read the rest...
Posted Nov 8th 2006, 12:59 in Holidays
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